During the last few years, I have perused the advertisements in our community’s wonderful weekly publications. Based on those advertisements, I have come to a realization of the ideal manner in which a person in our community should spend his year. I may have missed some events, so don’t take any omission to mean they shouldn’t be on this list:
In September, one should go to the Hidabroot convention weekend in Connecticut where he can enjoy Elul inspiration. Rosh Hashanah is spent in Uman by the kever of Rav Nachman. Then one should fly off to Eretz Yisroel, where he will spend a lofty Yom Kippur and Sukkos at the holy places and visiting Gedolei Yisroel.
A few weeks after returning home, he should return to be at Kever Rochel on Rochel Imeinu’s yahrzeit, and perhaps stick around for a few days, so that he could be in Chevron for parshas Chayei Sarah. The Shabbat Project hosts a weekend, at the end of October, in Stamford which cannot be missed.
Of course, one should attend the entire Agudah Convention during Thanksgiving weekend.
For the final week of the secular year, the Nefesh conference for mental health professionals is a must. One can travel to the kever of the Baal HaTanya on his yahrtzeit, and to the kever of Rav Shayala Keristerer on his yahrzeit. The yarchei kallah in the Mir in Yerushalayim is an incredibly inspiring event, where one can recapture some of the spiritual magic of his yeshiva days.
Shabbos parshas Vaera is the Ohr Naava convention, followed by the Dirshu convention the next week, Shabbos parshas Bo. Shabbos Shira and Tu B’Shevat should be back in Eretz Yisroel where one can attend the tish of a rebbe or two. Parshas Mishpatim is the Keravtuni shabbaton.
If one’s children attend a Modern Orthodox yeshiva, he can bring his family down south for Yeshiva week, where they will enjoy water sports and hot weather in a hotel with a daily daf yomi shiur. If he’s in Miami he—or his wife—might also run in a marathon for tzedakah. (It seems families keep going further south each midwinter …) If one’s children attend more yeshivish yeshivos, he should bring his family to a fancy hotel down south the following weekend, and stay from Thursday to Sunday night. Or, he can bring his family to Eretz Yisroel.
At the end of Adar, he should head off to Lizhensk for Reb Elimelech’s yahrzeit. Pesach can be spent at one of the hotels that provide incredible programs—featuring the most elite speakers and entertainment our community has to offer.
The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation weekend and the Project Inspire weekend are both incredible, and of course, he can’t miss the Torah Umesorah Convention during Memorial Day weekend. Shavuos with Greenwald Caterers is an amazing experience. Then Tisha B’Av must be spent back at the Kosel, followed by a special Shabbos Nachamu event in the Crowne Plaza. What a year!
Before I continue, please don’t misunderstand the point of this article. I am absolutely not discounting the importance, value and incredible chizuk that can be gleaned from the various shabbatons and events listed above. They are each beautiful events that spiritually (and physically) elevate all those lucky enough to be in attendance. They are all extremely inspiring and enjoyable experiences, and anyone who can attend such an event will not regret it.
But for those unable to attend these wonderful events, let your heart not be pained that you cannot find chizuk. For the masses who struggle mightily to pay tuition, send their children to summer camp and afford daily life in our community—and most of these wonderful events are beyond our means—there is plenty of chizuk to be gleaned closer to home.
Not only do we need constant chizuk, but we often need chizuk about getting, or not getting, chizuk. We need to remember that, ultimately, chizuk comes from within—based on what we choose to internalize and focus on. While chizuk is easier to glean from beautiful and heartwarming events, lasting chizuk is dependent on the efforts of the recipient.
Chizuk is potentially all around us, if we seek it. The rabbonim in our home shuls expend much effort each Shabbos to deliver powerful and pertinent messages in their drashos. There are numerous local lectures and events from which one can also gain so much. We are also blessed to have incredible free resources that provide endless chizuk on numerous websites like TorahAnytime.
I would love to have the opportunity to attend more of the events mentioned above, and those who are fortunate to attend should appreciate the opportunity. But those who cannot attend personally should not feel discouraged. Although the ads may, unwittingly, make us feel that our Judaism is remiss if we don’t attend these events, that is hardly the truth.
Chizuk is in the heart of the beholder!
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is a popular speaker and author. He is a rebbe in Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck and an experienced therapist who has recently returned to seeing clients in private practice as part of the Rockland CBT group. To schedule an appointment with Rabbi Staum, call (914) 295-0115. Looking for an inspirational and motivational speaker or scholar-in-residence? Contact Rabbi Staum for a unique speaking experience by emailing [email protected]. Archives of his writings can be found at www.stamtorah.info.
