October 26-27, a few weeks ago, was the week of the Shabbat Project, when Jews of all affiliations and backgrounds throughout the world were united in observing Shabbat.
It has become in vogue at the end of shabbatons to have a Carlebach-style Havdalah. Before beginning Havdalah, with the lights off and the glow of the Havdalah candle reflecting on everyone’s faces, the leader relates a story/poignant thought while strumming gently on his guitar. Then Havdalah is sung melodiously to very moving tunes.
On that Friday afternoon, I was driving home from Teaneck in the early afternoon. My phone was almost dead, lingering at about 3 percent in low-battery mode.
I received a text from a good friend who lives in Las Vegas. He was going to be leading such a Havdalah and asked if I had any thoughts he could share.
I thought for a moment and then replied that after a few strums on the guitar he should ask the assemblage what was the first commandment God gave to Adam in Gan Eden. Undoubtedly someone would answer that it was that Adam not partake of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. He should then reply that the Meshech Chochma notes that actually the first command was that he eat from all the other fruits in the garden. Only after telling Adam to enjoy the fruits of the garden did He then add the warning that Adam not eat from the forbidden fruit.
The lesson is that living according to the mandates of God is not to confine and restrict, but to ensure that we live an elite, connected life within the confines of biblical morality.
I continued that some people view Shabbat as a restrictive day—a day of don’t do this and don’t do that. But that is a very poor understanding of what Shabbat is about.
Imagine an NFL rookie about to play in the Super Bowl. There isn’t an open seat in the stadium, the crowds are screaming and waving. They announce his name and he runs out onto the field high-fiving his teammates as the crowd erupts in raucous cheering.
This is what he has dreamed about since he was a little boy. This is what kept him going when things were really tough. This is his dream come true.
Someone asks him at that moment why he’s so excited when the whole thing seems so overbearing. He has to wear a certain uniform and can’t choose his own clothes. He can’t use his cell phone during the game, and in fact can’t do anything except focus on the game. He can’t go buy a sandwich or get a drink from across the street; he can only drink what’s provided for him on the field. He has to listen to the instruction of the quarterback and the coach, and he has to go out there and work hard. It seems to be worse than prison.
The player will look at the questioner like he fell off the moon. Yes, he can’t do any of those things. But that’s all part of the glory of having the opportunity to play in the Super Bowl. Not only are those things not restrictive, they are part of the excitement of playing in the big game.
Shabbat observance indeed entails maintaining numerous restrictions. However, one who appreciates the essence of Shabbat recognizes that the prohibitions of Shabbat are a vital component for our ability to gain from the greatness of Shabbat.
Throughout the week we are busy living outside of ourselves, trying to do our part to improve the world and our own lives. On Shabbat, however, we turn inward. It is a one-day honeymoon with our souls when we focus on what is really important in life. To be able to accomplish that we need to shut ourselves out from the outside world. That is accomplished by adhering to the prohibitions of Shabbat.
Immediately after sending that idea in a voice note to my friend, my phone died.
When I arrived home and plugged my phone in, I saw that he asked me to elaborate on what the connection was to Havdalah.
I replied that after we have spent a full day enjoying and celebrating what is really important in life, then we are ready to venture back out into the world with renewed spiritual strength. It’s kind of like plugging in a phone at the end of the day. After a few hours it’s charged and able to fulfill all of its functions for the new day. Shabbat is our soul’s plug that charges us up for the week.
After I sent that reply, I took my almost-dead phone and that’s exactly what I did.
By Rabbi Dani Staum
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is the rabbi of Kehillat New Hempstead as well as a rebbe and the guidance counselor at Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, NJ, and principal at Mesivta Ohr Naftoli of New Windsor. Rabbi staum is a division head at Camp Dora Golding. He also presents parenting classes based on the acclaimed Love and Logic methods. His email address is [email protected]. His website is: www.stamtorah.info.
