Does this sound familiar? The teen who feels doomed to a boring, lonely summer is not just a stereotype—it’s a common struggle, and parents often find themselves on the receiving end of the moaning and groaning. While adults might envy the idea of a carefree summer break, many adolescents experience the season with anxiety, uncertainty and even dread. The absence of structured social activities (like school or camp) may lead kids to isolate, spiral into negative self-talk or retreat into screens as a coping mechanism.

But there’s good news: Parents can take meaningful steps to help their child feel supported, connected and empowered during these unstructured months. Below are four steps to help your child navigate the “everyone’s-at-camp-but-me” summer blues.

Step 1: Encourage Open Communication

Your child might not say, “I feel anxious and lonely,” but they may show it in other ways.

What to look for:

In younger kids: crying more often, being extra clingy, misbehaving for attention, interrupting frequently or increased separation anxiety.

In older kids/teens: withdrawing to their room, a sad or irritable mood, saying negative things about themselves, or withdrawing from peers.

How to start the conversation:

Use open-ended, nonjudgmental questions to help them open up. Try:

“How are you feeling about this summer?”

“What’s been on your mind since school ended?”

“It seems like you’ve been feeling ___—does that sound right?”

Listen for signs of cognitive distortions—black-and-white thinking, catastrophizing or anxious predictions (e.g., “Everyone will forget about me.” / “This summer is going to be awful.”). Gently point out these thought patterns and help them consider other perspectives—without minimizing their feelings.

Step 2: Validate and Make Space for Feelings

Before problem-solving, simply sit with their emotions. When kids feel heard, they’re more likely to open up and feel safe.

Try saying:

“It’s okay to feel sad about missing your friends.”

“It makes sense that you’re feeling lonely.”

“Saying goodbye for the summer can be really hard.”

“I’m hearing that you’re feeling left out—did I get that right?”

Validation isn’t about agreeing with every fear—it’s about acknowledging that their feelings are real and important. This sets the stage for emotional growth and deepens your relationship.

Step 3: Brainstorm Summer Plans Together

Once you’ve connected emotionally, shift to brainstorming. Help them think creatively about how to spend their summer in ways that feel fulfilling (and even fun!)

Create “Summer Bucket Lists” with categories like:

People to connect with: Friends who are local, cousins, neighbors, or friends from shul or school.

Goals: Decluttering their room, trying a new recipe, starting a journal or learning a new skill.

Community activities: Volunteering, sports leagues, teen programs, youth groups or local events.

Solo activities: Reading, biking, cooking, drawing, hiking, journaling or even writing letters to friends at camp.

Step 4: Create a Routine

Having structure, even in summer, is grounding. Decide together which activities are daily, weekly, or “someday” goals. Write it down or create a calendar together.

A predictable rhythm can help reduce anxiety, build confidence and counter the “I have nothing to do” feeling that often triggers emotional spirals.

Need Extra Support? We’re Here to Help

Parents sometimes feel guilt about not sending their kids to camp or not having every moment planned. But simply showing up, staying curious about your child’s inner world and offering support and structure can be profoundly impactful.

At Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy, we understand that summer can be emotionally complex for kids and teens—especially those struggling with loneliness, anxiety or low self-esteem. Our team offers individual therapy and group therapy options to help young people build coping skills, self-awareness and social connection in a warm, supportive environment.

Whether your child needs help navigating an unstructured summer or ongoing support for deeper emotional struggles, we’re here to partner with you.

Visit www.collaborativeminds.net or reach out to learn more about our services and how we can help your child feel seen, supported and empowered this summer and beyond.

Emily Johnson, LMSW, is an individual and group therapist at Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy LLC. Emily sees clients both virtually and in person on the UWS and in Teaneck, and works with teens and adults struggling with social issues, anxiety and depression. She has openings for new clients. Schedule an appointment with Emily at https://www.collaborativeminds.net/bookcall.