My children love the indoor activity centers for Chol Hamoed trips. However, my wife and I always walk out with a headache! Two people can attend the same event and experience it entirely differently. One can’t get enough and the other can’t wait to leave. This extends to spiritual activities also. Some people can’t wait until Shabbos is over, while others don’t want Shabbos to end. For some, davening is a pleasurable experience, while others rush through it.
This concept is discussed in Parshas Tazria in the portion dealing with the metzora, a person who is afflicted with tzara’as (a skin condition). The root word of metzora is metzer, which means narrow and confined. It describes a person who is self-absorbed and does not allow himself to freely experience what is going on around him. Notice that Mitzrayim (Egypt), the ultimate place of confinement, has the same first three letters (mem, tzadi, reish). The Zohar refers to a person afflicted with tzara’as as a sagur—someone who is trapped by his self-absorption. Tzara’as only existed when the Jewish nation was on a very high level of spirituality. Today, however, the emotional affliction of self-absorption still remains.
The Gemara says the root cause of this affliction is slanderous speech and arrogance. A person with low self-esteem may feel the need to put people down so he can “lift up” his own personal image. He is living in a constrained state of mind. An arrogant individual is similar: He believes he is superior to others, so he can’t tolerate them.
The Torah refers to tzara’as as a nega (blemish.) The Chiddushei HaRim points out that the word nega has the same letters (nun, gimmel, ayin) as the word oneg—delight—indicating that people who live with this close-minded, self-absorbed approach to life can experience something delightful, but their attitude locks them out of really enjoying the experience. Perhaps this is the source for the English prefix “nega” (such as in negative or negate), which means “antithesis.”
The Mishna says that a resident of cities such as Yerushalayim (which had a wall from the time of Yehoshua) who is afflicted with tzara’as must leave the city while so afflicted. Rabbi Moshe Wolfson says Yerushalayim is not just a physical place, but represents a spiritual state that is present in our daily routine. Prayer, Shabbos and Torah study all possess the spirituality of Yerushalayim, which has a direct connection to Hashem. We pray toward Yerushalayim because of its connection to Hashem. Demonstrating this connection was the fact that it contained the Beis Hamikdash, which was the only place where korbanos (sacrifices) could be offered, and those korbanos that could be eaten could only be eaten within the environs of Yerushalayim. Somebody who is self-absorbed has a very hard time relating to prayer; he can’t enjoy it. His Torah learning will be without spark. If we find ourselves not in the mood to daven or not enjoying Shabbos or Torah study, we need to examine our mindset.
The root of this self-absorption is the lack of full reliance on Hashem. If we truly place our full reliance on Hashem we will feel secure and confident in ourselves; we won’t need to feel self-absorbed. What others think about us won’t matter. Engaging in davening, Shabbos observance and Torah study—these are expressions of our bitachon, our reliance on Hashem.
Yet, even a person who has bitachon and a healthy sense of self can find it challenging to be in the presence of a person with a negative attitude. In the prayer Yosheiv Beseiser, which we add on Motzei Shabbos after Shemoneh Esrei, we note that Hashem will protect us from being affected by others’ unhealthy behavior. It says, “Evil will not befall you and a nega will not enter your tent.” The simple explanation of the pasuk is that Hashem will protect us and prevent the affliction of tzara’as from entering our tent. However, the commentary Siach Yitzchok explains it to mean that Hashem will protect us even if the nega affliction is in our tent! If there are people in your home who have a negative attitude and divisive behavior, Hashem will prevent it from attaching itself to you.
We can’t always control the environment we’re in. Sometimes we find ourselves surrounded by individuals who are narrow-minded and negative. The pasuk in Tehillim reminds us: Place your full reliance on Hashem as your protector. This firm reliance can help create our own inner circle of peace. We can then weather any storm.
This week is Parshas Hachodesh, which heralds the month of Nissan, the month of redemption. Hachodesh is all about chidush—creating anew. A spirit of renewal descends upon the Jewish nation at this juncture to enable us to break free from Mitzrayim, which represents our personal confinement by way of self-absorption. We help defeat self-absorption by increasing our reliance on Hashem, and thus experience Shabbos, davening, and Torah study as more of an oneg—a delight for our beings and our souls.
Rabbi Baruch Bodenheim is the associate rosh yeshiva of Passaic Torah Institute (PTI)/Yeshiva Ner Boruch, where he leads a multi-level Gemara-learning program. PTI has attracted adult Jews of all ages from all over northern New Jersey for its learning programs. Fees are not charged but any contributions are always welcome. Beyond PTI, Rabbi Bodenheim conducts a weekly beis midrash program with chavrusa learning in Livingston plus a monthly group in West Caldwell. Rabbi Bodenheim can be reached at [email protected]. For more info about PTI and its Torah classes, visit www.pti.shulcloud.com.
