Last week, a picture of famed Florida State University football player Travis Rudolph went viral on social media. It showed him joining a young boy with autism who was sitting alone in the lunchroom at school. The 11-year-old boy’s name is Bo Paske, and this experience changed his life. His mother told TIME magazine that he often ate lunch alone and had very few friends before this took place, but he now has many lunchroom companions. Since then, other parents whose children struggle with autism spectrum disorders have been posting messages online describing how hard it is for their kids to be left out of social activities, and also how painful it is for them as parents to watch their kids continuously excluded by their peers socially. While the story of Travis and Bo is very special, it shouldn’t be such a unique experience. Normalizing the simple act of being with someone who is different from you is essential to helping all kids flourish.
What an incredible difference such an act of kindness can make! By setting an example of compassion and inclusivity, Travis Rudolph, the celebrity athlete, has helped motivate change. The image of him with Bo helps to encourage children to reach out to kids who have social or physical challenges that make them different. It teaches sensitivity and warmth, and helps kids overcome their discomfort or even fear of the unknown. It isn’t always easy to reach out to someone unlike us, and making an unpopular choice to join someone who doesn’t “fit in” with the usual crowd can also be intimidating. For Bo Paske and other kids like him, it can make all the difference in the world. Part of teaching kids to breach these social barriers is helping them see that making such a kind gesture toward a child who is isolated can be a remarkably enriching experience. It is an opportunity to learn and grow, to perform kindnesses and to thereby enhance self-esteem.
For the most part, I don’t believe that kids mean to cause hurt by their tendency to stick with others who they feel are like them. It’s completely natural to remain within our personal comfort zone, and leaving that comfortable place is a conscious act that requires both thoughtfulness and courage. I believe that parents, educators and community leaders have much to learn from this story, and can use it to instruct young people. Coaches and teachers often encourage kids to participate in sports and other extracurricular activities, and this often involves overcoming fears and inhibitions. I think that we should emphasize inclusivity with the same enthusiasm. While children learn all about teamwork and sportsmanship on the school baseball or debate team, they can also learn some fundamental lessons about community and perseverance by joining with people who are different from them.
Ultimately, stories like that of Travis Rudolph and Bo Paske are an excellent opportunity for us all to take note of how others around us might be feeling about how we treat them, or, even worse, avoid them. We should all feel inspired to pay more attention to our behavior, and take note of opportunities to do nice things for others.
Kira Wigod is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in New York City. She also holds a master’s in healthcare interior design from the New York School of Interior Design. Kira works at Montefiore Medical Group where she does clinical therapy with clients from all walks of life. Kira is currently building her private practice, where she hopes to make an impact on even more lives. Contact Kira by e-mail at [email protected].
Kira Wigod, LCSW, MPS-H
