In our parsha, Moshe describes a time when Am Yisrael will sin against Hashem by serving their neighbors’ idols in Eretz Yisrael, and delineates the resulting punishment — their expulsion from the land.
Moshe then adds an important addendum (29:28): “Hanistaros la’Hashem Elokeinu, v’haniglot lanu ul’vaneinu ad olam — the hidden things are for Hashem our God, but the revealed things are for us and our children forever …”
Citing the Gemara, Rashi explains that this pasuk outlines the parameters of areyvut, the concept that all Jews are responsible for each other and for each other’s actions. Moshe reassures Am Yisrael that such communal responsibility only extends to sins committed in public — but not sins committed in private. Such sins are only “for Hashem,” as only God is aware of them — and, therefore, the community is not held responsible for them.
However, the parameters of areivut are actually debated in the Gemara Sanhedrin 43b. The gemara notes that in the Torah there are dots over the words, “ … lanu ul’vaneinu — for us and our children.” These dots indicate an asterisk, or a qualification — to the simple understanding of the passuk. The Tannaim debate the exact nature of this asterisk. Rabbi Yehuda maintains that the dots indicate that the distinction mentioned in the passuk was only true until Bnei Yisrael entered Eretz Yisrael. Once they entered their homeland, the parameters of areyvut expanded, and the nation became responsible even for sins performed in private. In contrast, Rabbi Nechemia argues that the dots in the text clarify that the entire concept of areivut only applied once Am Yisrael entered Eretz Yisrael —before their entry, areivut did not yet apply — the nation was not responsible for any sins committed by an individual, even those committed in public.
The commentaries struggle to explain the opinion of Rabbi Yehuda. How could the community, — even in Eretz Yisrael — become responsible for actions committed in private? How can we be responsible for sins that we don’t witness, or aren’t aware of?
I once heard from Rav Aharon Lichtenstein, zt”l, the following suggestion. According to Rabbi Yehuda, upon entering Eretz Yisrael, the nation was given the mandate to create a community based on Torah laws and values. The ultimate goal was to instill these standards within each member of the community — such that each member was inspired to follow the Torah completely — both in private and in public. Therefore, any sin committed by a member of the community, even in private — indicated that the community had not fully succeeded in instilling these values within its members, and, therefore, the community bears some responsibility for that sin.
Obviously, this standard is incredibly high — yet, Rabbi Yehuda believes that to be the standard we should establish in Eretz Yisrael. An environment where people do the correct thing not simply because of how it looks or what others think, but because their internal moral compass, and their connection to Hashem compel them to do so. Such a community embodies avodat Hashem and yirat Shamayim in its highest form — and is what we should strive for.
When considering how to be mechanech our children, it is this model towards which we should strive. Our goal should be to infuse our children with our values and principles, such that these values become a part of their moral fabric and religious identity. We should aspire to raise kids who live according to these principles not because we force them to, but because they themselves identify with those values and morals. In this way, even when we aren’t around, they act in a way that mirrors these standards.
Of course, this type of chinuch requires extra effort. It’s easier to simply tell our kids what to do, and then force them to listen to us. This is true particularly when our children are young, or in moments of conflict. Our ego and position of authority push us to assert our authority to make them listen. This approach becomes even more pronounced when in public, as we are concerned for how we are perceived.
And yet, we must consider our ultimate goal in our children’s chinuch. While it’s nice having our children listen to us, ultimately, our long-term goal should be to raise children who absorb the values and morals that we have taught them — who will make those values a part of themselves and live according to them, even once they leave our home. If we force them to act in a certain way without taking the time to teach the values behind those actions, they may “toe the line” in front of us, but are likely to drop it all once they are on their own. We, therefore, must be thoughtful about how we are mechanech our children in a way that will last.
In this week’s parsha, we are introduced to the concept of areyvut, communal responsibility. While its parameters are hotly debated, Rabbi Yehuda maintains that upon entry to Eretz Yisrael, the Jewish nation became fully responsible for each other’s actions, even those done in private. Rav Lichtenstein explains this to be because once they entered the land, the community was founded on shared values and
principles — with the goal for its members to live these values completely. It is this type of chinuch that we should strive to imbue within our children as well — one that instills in them a deep sense of purpose, and ideals that they will live by throughout their lives.
Shabbat Shalom!
Rav Yossi Goldin is the menahel tichon at Yeshivas Pe’er HaTorah, Rebbe at Midreshet Tehilla, and Placement Advisor/Internship Coordinator for the YU/RIETS Kollel. He lives with his family in Shaalvim and can be reached at [email protected]
