As the community moves through the Omer period following Pesach, it is invigorated by a shared mission to foster the growth and continuity of the Jewish people. Exemplifying their mission of “Jewish Continuity,” Bergen County High School of Jewish Studies is set to celebrate 50 years of Jewish teen education on May 20 with an exciting event, “From Hebrew High to Chuppah,” featuring Jewish matchmaker Aleeza Ben Shalom of Netflix’s “Jewish Matchmaking” fame.
BCHSJS is a regional Sunday school held at Temple Israel & JCC, in Ridgewood, New Jersey for Jewish teens in grades 8-12. Students are welcomed from over 20 diverse congregations, including Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, Orthodox and non-affiliated.
While contemplating how to honor BCHSJS’s milestone, it was a natural decision to enlist Ben Shalom, who is revolutionizing traditional matchmaking. “We’re both focused on connecting Jews with other Jews and deepening their connection to Judaism and the broader Jewish community,” said Shari Haber, BCHSJS board member and vice president.
BCHSJS’ program stands out educationally, socially and inter-communally. Students choose their own line of study from scholarly classes to arts or current events. This unique “bottom up approach,” said Haber, “gives students autonomy and choice and supports them as they form a Jewish identity. This has been an effective way to encourage the teens to continue their affiliation beyond their formative years and throughout their adulthood.”
The social and communal aspects of BCHSJS are vital, serving as the main Jewish community hub for many students who attend secular high schools. “The intangible of this experience is the connection with Jewish peers,” noted Rabbi Dr. David Fine, BCHSJS board and faculty member and executive director. During the pandemic, Fine was instrumental in adapting the school environment to provide a safe and nourishing space for Jewish teens amid remote learning. Students also positively impact the greater community through tikkun olam initiatives, including food and charity drives.
Support doesn’t end with graduation. BCHSJS prepares students for college challenges, including antisemitism and BDS movements, through a mandatory senior seminar. This proactive approach ensures that students are equipped with both a strong understanding of Jewish and Israeli history and the tools to stand up and advocate as Jews.
The May 20 event promises to be a vibrant evening where matchmaking meets improv, creating a lively and engaging atmosphere. It will feature a VIP cocktail reception with Ben Shalom, followed by a live matchmaking session and Q&A segment. Attendees can expect a dynamic mix of humor and Jewish wisdom, where four singles will grace the stage to delve into their personalities and dating preferences. Ben Shalom will enlist the audience for help, offering advice and guidance.
After hosting 60+ live Jewish matchmaking events, the matchmaking veteran loves that “at every event, something new pops up. Whether you’re single or married, old or young, observant or less so, everyone gets involved!”
Beyond the laughter and lighthearted banter lies a deeper message of Jewish continuity. Ben Shalom asserted that “Right now, we have soldiers in Israel who are physically fighting for our land. Our land will always be there. I am physically fighting for the future of the Jewish people, and want to ensure that there will be people to live in that land.” The deep sense of purpose is reflected in her matchmaking efforts, aligning with BCHSJS’ mission in securing the future of Jewish family and community.
As she guides participants through the ins and outs of dating, Ben Shalom reminds Jews that finding love is not just about luck; it’s about authenticity, connection and a willingness to embrace the journey wherever it may lead. “Never give up,” she insisted. “Your person is out there, and you can and will find them. Keep trying!”
Ben Shalom’s personal journey into matchmaking has evolved. “I didn’t know it at first,” she said. “It took me until my late 20s to early 30s to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was always a go-between, helping, and didn’t know that matchmaking could be a profession.” Her professional calling crystalized through stages, first stemming from volunteering for an online dating site. When a recession hit her husband’s industry, she felt compelled to find a job that could support their family.
“I can’t do anything else! This is the most important job in the entire world and the only thing I want to do,” she affirmed. So she transformed her passion into a full-time business, training matchmakers and coaches. Reflecting on her path, she expressed gratitude for the financial struggle: “Without it, I might have just continued to do this as a volunteer, instead of being motivated to make it greater.”
Ben Shalom’s matchmaking process is not that of a conventional Yente of “Fiddler on the Roof” or city-clique “Mrs. Maisel” matchmaking archetype. “It’s collaborative and relatable,” she explained. She encourages community participation, noting the importance of building a network of collaboration over competition. “There’s a need for more volunteer matchmakers,” she said. If someone has always wanted to delve into the art of matchmaking, this event is their opportunity to participate in the warmth and inclusivity of community-led Jewish matchmaking.
So, what’s the secret to successful matchmaking? Spoiler alert — according to Ben Shalom, it’s simple: “listen to what somebody wants, as opposed to giving them what you think they need.” This philosophy has guided countless individuals in finding their perfect match, one soulmate at a time.
In conclusion, Ben Shalom offered this blessing: “May those who are searching for their soulmate find them this year, and may everybody else who has already found their soulmate help others to find their soulmate.”
The “From Hebrew High to Chuppah” event supporting BCHSJS will deliver an unforgettable night celebrating Jewish continuity and the joy of Jewish matchmaking. The entire community is invited to attend.
For tickets and information, visit www.bchsjs.org/hebrew-high-to-chuppah.
Chaya Glaser is a staff writer at The Jewish Link.
