December 23, 2024

Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Beware the Language Used in Advice Columns

I was deeply disturbed reading an article in the Coaching section of the August 13 edition where the author takes us through three “skills” to cope with what she must feel is appropriate behavior on the part of the husband (“Verbal Assertiveness, Part Three: Accepting Criticism Using the Negative Assertion
Skill” August 12, 2021). Reading the role playing made me cringe and feel that I was a part of a terribly abusive conversation that was going on between a battered wife and her emotionally domineering husband.

How can someone think it was in any way OK for someone to demean and belittle someone else? Why should the wife have to tolerate such verbal abuse and have to employ the techniques that our author claims are assertiveness skills? And most obliviously, why can’t the husband just go to the dry cleaner himself if he’s so disappointed with the way his wife deals with it?

The Jewish Link is a fantastic resource for our community with a wealth of important information. I would ask that you please review closely the advice columns that you print because this kind of “advice” is deeply disturbing and counter to our beliefs of what a healthy marriage should be.

Genene Kaye
Teaneck
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