In the paradox of life are situations such as the one our family is faced with this week. On the morning of the day that my beloved Mordechai passed away, with absolutely no knowledge or thought that the next day we would be attending his funeral, I suggested to him that we practice walking down the aisle for the forthcoming wedding of our granddaughter Shira. I entwined my arm into his and we slowly walked across the living room floor as I hummed the tune of Lohengrin’s Bridal March. It was practice for an event that he would never attend.
Exactly five weeks to the day since he passed, Shira and her chattan Doni Schanzer will become man and wife. Such a mix of emotions, but a constant reminder which I am trying to inject into my psyche is that my Mordechai would want this to be a full-blown simcha. He would want us to dance and laugh and be mesameach the chattan and kallah to the best of our ability. I cannot imagine him not giving his granddaughter Shira a bracha at the bedecken or a bracha to them both under the chuppah.
It is inconceivable to me how this could be, and then I remind myself of the letter I found several days after the shiva was completed. It was a letter that he had written to me with the intent of being read after he passed. Throughout the letter he shared how much he loved me and how I would need to be strong. He told me that I needed to push myself through each day and that he would always be with me. Akiva, our son who adored and was adored by his father and has been by my side throughout the last few weeks, will accompany me down the aisle. Many have told me that he looks and acts like his father, and I know that my Mordechai would feel great comfort knowing that Akiva will be with me.
I am sure that if he were able, he would tell Shira and Doni that marriage is hard work with more than substantial rewards. I cannot even attempt to repeat what I think he would say. He just knew how to do it so that the young couple would feel his sincerity, warmth and love.
I know that the only bracha that I can give Shira and Doni is that their life together should bloom into a relationship such as ours.
Mazel tov to the entire Hagler family: Chavi and Chaim, Bobbie and all of the others. Mazel tov to our new family from Edison: Lisa and Barry Schanzer, and the extended Glaser/Shanzer clan.
May we share many smachot together in good health and happiness.
My Mordechai, you will be there with us on Wednesday evening with your smiles and brachot shining down.
Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].
