While much of the talk about heroes and essential workers in society focuses these days on healthcare providers, grocery store clerks, and delivery people, members of frum communities know that we’ve always relied on another set of essential workers to help structure, interpret and direct our lives. Those “essential workers” are our rabbanim.
Shul rabbis have faced remarkably challenging situations over the past few months, addressing many life-and-death halachic questions, anguished shul members, and other unusual inquiries, as well as the dilemma of helping people stay connected to a kehilla whose building they haven’t set foot in for many weeks.
This reporter spoke with three rabbanim in Central NJ and asked them what were the toughest situations they addressed in the COVID-19 era. These are their answers.
Rabbi Gedaliah Jaffe, rav of Congregation Ahavas Yisrael of Edison, noted that the COVID-19 era presented unique challenges but also rare opportunities.
“The questions we heard and addressed from many members of our kehilla acted as a springboard to give people familiarity with the halachic process,” said Rabbi Jaffe. “They were able to see that kavod habrios (human dignity) is a real factor in our decisions and that halacha is very sensitive to this.”
“I faced a few questions where someone’s mental health was a real factor. I was asked if an older man living alone could leave on a radio over the three-day chag so they wouldn’t feel so alone. At another point I was told about a young adult, unsteady in their Yiddishkeit, who was considering moving in with their adult parents (and risking exposing them) or staying alone and possibly being mechalel Shabbos. These were not simple decisions. And the person’s state of mind was a big part of the equation. There were also, of course, many medical shailos, a number of them very agonizing decisions.”
“I found that the need for counseling increased and there was much greater uncertainty and fear. But there were also people who experienced an aliyah in their emunah and that was encouraging. And for me personally, I got a great deal of chizuk from two Zoom conferences for rabbanim that I attended, one organized by Yeshiva University and featuring Rav Mordechai Willig, the other featuring Rabbi Asher Weiss. Both offered great advice and support.”
Rabbi Yehuda Eichenstein, rav of Congregation Ateres Shlomo in Edison, commented: “The past two and a half difficult months have been full of so much pain and so many challenges. Being in a position to guide and advise people in such times, my daily challenge was the responsibility of striking the right balance, when on both sides of a question there isn’t much room for error. I had that sense with the initial decision to completely shut down shul life, for the first time in our lives, for the sake of public safety. It was delicate navigating leniencies in halacha for those families making Pesach for the first time under a lot of stress, without risking being unacceptably lenient.”
“Our community was indeed, b’chasdei Hashem, spared the worst of it. Still, some of our members lost close family to the virus, as there are those whose relatives were, and some still are, in serious condition. One difficult moment for me was when, due to pikuach nefesh concerns, I had to say no to one of our congregants who asked if his family could move in with his mother-in-law for Pesach. His father-in-law was ill with the virus, barely alive on a respirator, and his mother-in-law, who was home alone, and, naturally, very distressed emotionally, didn’t want to be alone for the Pesach Seder. Baruch Hashem, his father-in-law has since been discharged and is on the road to recovery.”
“With our shul shut down, we had to come up with innovative ways for people to maintain the intensity of their spiritual growth and their Torah study. That is something that I still think about and work on daily.”
Rabbi Eliyahu Kaufman of Edison, spiritual leader of Congregation Ohav Emeth in Highland Park, noted that the community’s struggle with COVID-19 has resulted in some very unusual situations.
He’s faced a number of halachic questions that involve medical dilemmas, such as whether or not an observant Jewish health care worker can check their work messages on Shabbos and how they can or should work with patients who have the coronavirus (which puts the health care worker at significant risk). Rabbi Kaufman commented that he is very fortunate to be able to consult with and draw on the expertise of a long-time member of the shul, who is a retired infectious disease specialist.
Rabbi Kaufman reports that he is particularly saddened by the state of funerals at this time, calling them “heart-breaking.” He has officiated at or attended five such funerals in the past two months and says they are “very hard”; people try to give proper kavod to the meit (deceased) yet so much needs to be curtailed. He’s seen people wearing masks, standing by their cars, acting very cautiously, and often there’s not a minyan to say Kaddish. “It is very tough to witness these things.”
By Harry Glazer
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