A few years back, my husband and I took our children to the Empire State Building for an outing. We parked in one of the lots right near our destination and had a wonderful day—the weather was especially clear and the vistas were amazing. After an early dinner at Mendy’s, we went back to the lot and headed home. A fun time was had by all, and the entire ride home was filled with lively conversation about our day and some discussion planning our next adventure. When we arrived home, a shadow was cast over an otherwise perfect day by the fact that one side of the back of our van was totally bashed in! We couldn’t believe that we hadn’t notice it when the car was brought to us. My husband, Jeff, remembered that the parking attendant opened the doors for us on one side of the van, and we all piled in and left. Jeff had a feeling that since we didn’t point out the damage at the time of pick-up, the garage would not do right by us and pay for the repairs.
The next morning, I called the garage to let them know what happened, hoping that an honest, understanding manager would help us out. As I began to explain what must have happened, the manager bellowed, “ Say no more, Ma’am! I heard a loud crash yesterday afternoon in my lot,and when I asked all of the attendants what happened, they simply shrugged their shoulders and no one admitted to causing an accident. I am so sorry for this inconvenience. Please take the car to a body shop and fax over the estimate. Our insurance company will cover all of the costs of the repair job.”
When retelling this story to family and friends, nobody could believe that the garage manager was so upfront and apologetic. Over the course of that week, the estimate was submitted and, as promised, the bill for the bodywork was paid in full. I also shared the story with a friend who had an auto mechanic shop at the time and he advised that when picking up a car from a parking garage, it is important to get into the habit of walking all the way around the car to check for damage before leaving the lot. Only when satisfied that no damage was incurred, leave the lot. I also shared the story with a police officer who often served as the crossing guard at our shul. He took it one step further by saying that one should never get into his car when parked at the mall, or any parking lot for that matter, without first walking around the car to make sure that no one is hiding inside, ready to pounce on an innocent victim to abduct or rob him.
These sage words of advice really struck me, and I try to follow these safety suggestions. The idea of walking all the way around before moving on is a concept that can be applied to our day-to-day lives. Assessing a situation by “ walking all the way around it” can help us see the situation in ways we may not have seen before. Whether it is the beginning of an argument with a spouse, an uncomfortable disagreement with a friend or a possible concern about our children, observing the issues from multiple sides can be beneficial. Writing down strategies and ideas for the “ repair” or possible solution, and then discussing them calmly, may result in a smooth remodeling of an otherwise wreck of a situation. As we approach the Yamim Nora’im, the High Holy Days, these ideas may help us renew relationships and form new ones as well. Being open to suggestion, forming healthy, lasting relationships while maintaining and enriching the ones we are already fortunate enough to have, and trying to see our lives from all sides may lead us to a fabulous new year. Shana tova u’metuka! Have a sweet and fulfilling year with good health and all of Hashem’s wondrous gifts!
Sariva Sklar is a certified family coach with a practice in Teaneck. Sariva conducts social skills training for children and adults both privately and in groups, as well as “family tune-ups” that improve the family dynamic for couples and their children. You may reach Sariva in her office: 201-836-4227 or 201-679-1311.
