One of the highlights of camp each summer—and in many ways its crescendo—are the three days of color war. There are certain unwritten traditions about color war in every camp, including the need to have—or attempt to have—a surprise breakout, as well as a grand sing that culminates with the singing of the alma-mater which must contains the “tear-year” rhyme (e.g., “I just can’t help but shed a tear; I just can’t wait until next year”).

This year too, we enjoyed a beautiful color war—intense and competitive, yet enjoyable and fun.

Another endemic component of Color War is the long sleepless nights, at least for the staff. There’s hardly enough time, as they scramble to produce quality songs, skits, plays, banners and speeches, within limited time. It’s all part of the experience, and yet, the staff anticipates it and loves it.

I was reminded of years back when I was a counselor and experienced those three bleary-eyed nights of color war. At the time, Rabbi Noach Sauber—currently, the learning director at camp—gave the staff shiur. There were over 100 staff members packed into the room, which wasn’t air-conditioned. (These days, you’ll be hard pressed to find a building in camp that’s not air-conditioned).

Believe it or not, the shiur was taken very seriously. It was due to the combination of the high caliber of the shiur and Rabbi Sauber’s close relationship with the staff. He also took attendance every day and would follow up with any staff member who missed shiur. During the days of color war, attendance was nearly perfect. To be honest, some may have dozed off during the shiur those three days, but everyone came.

Before shiur during one of those days, Rabbi Sauber shared a penetrating insight which I have never forgotten: The Rambam (Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:12) writes about the virtue of learning Torah with exertion and dedication. Based on a pasuk in Koheles, the Rambam (paraphrasing the midrash) states: “The Torah that I learned ‘b’af,’ that has been fulfilled within me.” The simple meaning of “b’af” is “in my anger.”

Rav Yitzchok Hutner, zt”l, once quipped that “b’af” can also mean “even so” (as in the Gemara’s lexicon: “af al pi kein”). In other words, it’s the Torah that one learns “even so”—i.e., when he has 10 excuses why he cannot or should not learn, and does so nonetheless, that really becomes internalized and builds him spiritually.

Rabbi Sauber continued that it’s particularly when one is exhausted after sleepless nights, or when the room is hot and humid or whatever other justifications one has not to learn, that real growth takes place. The measure of greatness is not when one performs when he’s at his best, but how much he is able to produce when his resistance is low and he’s not feeling his best. When one triumphs over his personal “af al pi kein,” that is where the road to greatness lies.

That’s true in regards to all spiritual matters, even more so in regards to Torah study. Those who are already sleep deprived and overworked, yet push themselves to learn Torah, perform chesed and daven properly—those are the real winners!

Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is a popular speaker and author. He is a rebbe in Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck and an experienced therapist who has recently returned to seeing clients in private practice as part of the Rockland CBT group. To schedule an appointment with Rabbi Staum call (914) 295-0115. Looking for an inspirational and motivational speaker or scholar-in-residence? Contact Rabbi Staum for a unique speaking experience by emailing [email protected]. Archives of his writings can be found at www.stamtorah.info