May 23, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

From the Mouths of Babes

Send your kids’ outrageous quotes to [email protected]

A nursery school student alighted from his parents’ car and did not notice that a construction worker nearby was smoking a cigarette. A thoughtful look crossed his face. “Smells like the beach!” he declared.

—From Lubavitch on the Palisades School

A nursery school teaching was talking about caterpillars and butterflies with her class. Prompting her students to use expressive language, she asked, “Is this caterpillar fat?”

“My mom says that’s a bad word,” warned a student.

—From Lubavitch on the Palisades School

“My dad is funny because he had a brain tumor!!”

—Batya to her friends at her birthday party

The day after the clock moved forward: “But Mommy, it’s the middle of the night! It’s not time to get out of bed! Go away! I’m not getting out of bed!!”

After hearing the story of Purim in school, my daughter started building a house with blocks. When asked what she was making, she said “This is a house for Vashti. She’s fine now, she’s with her friends.” —Anonymous

Just came home from a long trip, trying to get Batya to stop playing and go to sleep. “But I’m only one tired!” Huh? One tired? “Mommy, (eye roll), that means I’m not too tired!”

Batya, you have to pick out a hat for crazy hat day tomorrow in Camp Shalom! How about this hat? “No, that’s not gonna’ work. I think I’ll wear a sheitel.”

We took Batya to Bumbleberry at 5 p.m. to celebrate Tali’s birthday. We’re on our way home and Batya says: “Mommy, can I have supper for dessert?”

Batya to her brother Zevi: “I can smell your armpits……FROM MY ROOM!”

I neglected to cover something in the microwave and it exploded and made a huge mess. I was yelling at myself and freaking out about the greasy goo everywhere when Batya came into the kitchen. “Mommy, I’m sorry you are going through this, but this is not your life. Your child is your life. Be happy that I’m not on fire and hurt. That’s what really matters in life.” Then she turned around and went back to watching TV!!!

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