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December 19, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

From the Mouths of Babes

“Today I was talking to a 4-year-old about worms, and then we ended up comparing them to caterpillars. I said “Well, one thing that is different, is that a caterpillar goes into a chrysalis and changes into a…” The child said “Oh, I don’t celebrate chrysalis. I’m Jewish.” —anonymous [teacher]

“Mom, why is that boy wearing a necklace on his teeth?”—Jakey Rabinowitz

The 4-year-old during the Seder, after going downstairs to my in-law’s basement once the meal was over: “It is not fair that the adults get to stay upstairs and have conversation while I sit down here alone in the dark.” —Steven Schwartzberg

“Daddy, why are you searching for the chummus everywhere in the house? It’s in the fridge, where it always is.” —Steven Schwartzberg

When my daughter started school she didn’t know what a carpool was since she’s the first child. When I told her we have to go outside to wait for carpool, she asked where her bathing suit was. —Rena Newman

Gavriella is always thinking of excuses for some ailment so she can have yummy tasting medicine. This one tops them all…”Mommy my belly aches… I have an ear infection in my belly!” —Rena Newman

I was showing pictures of a relative’s stay in Israel to my daughter when I came upon a picture of the kotel. She exclaimed, “We stayed at the kotel…in Florida!!” —Rena Newman

We were looking outside our front window when a woman with long, straight blonde hair walked by. Gavriella screamed, “Look Mommy, there’s Barbie!” —Rena Newman

And some jewels from Batya:

On the way to pick up her sister Tali from FriendshipCircle BergenCounty, Batya asked, “Mommy, what is Friendship Circle anyway? It sounds like a bunch of people sitting in a circle saying nice things to each other.”

Batya wanted a smoothie. My blender wasn’t working. I went to get my immersion blender to see if that would work. She asked what it was. I said, “an immersion blender.” She responded, “Oh, that makes sense. You use it in an emergency when your regular blender is broken!”

Send your kids’ outrageous quotes to [email protected]

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