“So I put on Machine Head this morning and my kid was like “That’s yetzer hara music.” ― anonymous
From my 5-year-old: “Ima, you’re really the tooth fairy, right?”
I hesitated, not sure how to answer, when he says, “Actually you can’t be the tooth fairy, you don’t have wings!” ― Yaeli Sokolic
Yesterday there was a commercial on the radio for McDonald’s. P. said, “I ate that once.”
I lol’ed and said, “No, you didn’t.”
P. said, “Yes I did. When I was your age I ate that.” ― anonymous
“Mommy, I need more peach smiles.” Peach slices. Never thought of them that way. ― Elizabeth Kratz
“‘Ledditgo, ledditgo….,’ sings my child as she sits on the toilet.” ― anonymous
And more from the House of Batya:
After declaring how cute she is, we decided to correct some of Batya’s word confusion. In frustration she exclaimed: “I don’t get it! Why do they have to make words sound so close to each other, like fox and socks, chicken and kitchen, seminary and cemetery, and Mohawk and goatee?!! I can’t even.” — L.W.
Do all 6-year-olds talk like this?
“Mommy, I need you to approve my clothing choices, but that involves you getting out of bed.” What happened to “Mommy, wake up. Can I wear this?!”
Friday afternoon, before Shabbos, Batya lost a tooth. We told her that the tooth fairy is Shomer Shabbos and can’t come until Saturday night. She looks at us and says, “It’s my parents, I know.”
Saturday night comes.
Batya yelling at me, her sister: ‘TALIIIIII, can you help me set up a security camera?’
Me: “Why…?”
Batya: “Because I need to catch Mommy and Tati being the tooth fairy.”
Me: Turns out they aren’t the tooth fairy. I am. $1.26 is my rate now for a tooth.
Send your kids’ outrageous quotes to edi[email protected].
