How many taxes are filed on the night of April 14? Just ask all the accountants who come to the Seder bleary eyed. And how many people file for extensions and don’t complete them until Oct. 14?
My rebbe, Rabbi Berel Wein, often wryly notes that the procrastinator’s club is holding their first meeting … next week.
People procrastinate, because they feel too anxious to do what they need/want to do. The problem is that procrastinating only exacerbates feelings of anxiety. When a person procrastinates, he feels more stressed that not only is he shirking his responsibilities, but he is also doing nothing to accomplish that goal. It becomes a vicious cycle.
In life generally, we settle into our comfort zone in which we feel secure, knowing what and when to expect things. We like the familiar and predictable. To expand our comfort zone requires optimism and a confidence to step into the vast unknown. It also entails the willingness and “guts” to risk failure. Often, we shy away from opportunities because we don’t want to place ourselves in uncomfortable situations.
The problem is that if we don’t expand our comfort zone, it begins to shrink. We start to lose confidence in our abilities and faith in ourselves. To feel accomplished and successful one needs to challenge his surroundings and be willing to feel periodically uncomfortable.
So often, we don’t progress until something forces us to. “Good enough is the enemy of better,” and we often reason that we are doing good enough! If and when we are forced out of our comfort zone by life situations, we often resist mightily. But if we persevere and are able to adequately traverse the challenge, we look back at that impetus as a blessing in disguise.
The opening words of Shaarei Teshuva state: “From amongst the goodness that God, blessed is He, has bestowed upon His creations, is that He has prepared for them a path to ascend from the depth of their actions and to flee the abyss of sin, to save their souls from utter destruction, and to turn His wrath away from them.”
In his commentary, Rav Matisyahu Salomon, shlit”a, explains that if the Shaarei Teshuva commences by relating to us how great the gift of teshuva is, then it follows that we should feel joy and internal happiness when engaging in teshuva.
Elul and Tishrei are days of solemn introspection. But beyond that arduous soul work lies great satisfaction and fulfillment. All the issues and “stuff” that we push-off dealing with all year round, now stand before us like a brick wall. We want to flee its grasp and run back to our idyllic life of complacency and rote. But Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are rapidly approaching and we don’t want to lose the opportunity afforded to us.
When we indeed embrace the challenge that confronts us to scrutinize ourselves and contemplate how we can be better spouses, parents, children, community members and Torah Jews etc., we will feel that sense of deep joy that results from fulfilling our responsibilities once and for all and expanding the confines of our little selfish world.
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is a popular speaker and author. He is a rebbe in Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, NJ, and an experienced therapist, recently returning to seeing clients in private practice, as part of the Rockland CBT group. For appointments, Rabbi Staum can be reached at 914-295-0115. Looking for an inspirational and motivating speaker or scholar-in-residence? Contact Rabbi Staum for a unique speaking experience. Rabbi Staum can be reached at [email protected]. Archives of his writings can be found at www.stamtorah.info.
