As an employee of HASC Center for more than two decades, I have frequently felt proud of being a part of this outstanding organization. Nevertheless, the sense of pride I felt while participating at this year’s HASC’s Annual Women’s Retreat far surpassed anything I have ever experienced. I had heard about this yearly event but had not fathomed how incredible and transformative an experience it truly is.
More than 90 mothers who have children receiving services from HASC Center gathered at the lovely Hilton Hotel in Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey for pampering and inspiration. Over the course of two days and a night, these dedicated moms reveled in having a respite, some much needed time away from their daily responsibilities.
Upon arrival, the women greeted each other with hugs. Many had been attending this program since its inception nine years prior, while others were newbies. Women from various backgrounds and communities, joined by the common denominator of being the mother of a child with special needs, formed strong bonds. I was told by one mother that although she has friends who support her, the only ones who can truly understand her challenges are those who have walked in her shoes.
Each mother was given a gift bag upon arrival and notification of a complimentary massage. Anyone who wanted a sheitel wash and set was given an appointment with the onsite sheitel machers. Appointments with a talented makeup artist were offered as well. These were all wonderful perks to the morale of the moms who have little time for themselves in their busy day. It was evident that no detail was overlooked. Even a crew of capable babysitters were provided for those mothers who had their babies with them.
I could go on ad infinitum about the amazing programming, the beautiful hotel, the inspirational messages and the delectable food. Each hour was filled with varied and interesting events. There were stress relief activities such as invigorating, heart thumping Zumba dancing, as well as a dance class involving stomping with tap shoes on the dance floor– each with a different style, and both were so much fun! There were light-hearted game shows and activities that had the women giggling like a group of school girls. There were fun woodworking projects that involved pounding with a hammer, a great stress reliever and more enjoyable than pounding schnitzel with a meat mallet! A most timely workshop was creating artisanal cocktails for the Purim seudah. Activities such as journaling one’s feelings, and aqua aerobics ensured that there was truly something exciting for everyone.
These women, whom some might call heroines, were treated like the queens that they are, and each was given the royal treatment as per the retreat’s theme of royalty. The meals had various tablescapes that were all elegant and varied. Options were provided for the most discerning of eaters as well as the foodies. There was a sushi conveyor belt, which was quite the novelty, a pasta bar, a juice bar, limitless cheesecake (because one can’t have enough cheesecake!) as well as made to order omelets and wraps. Each dinner was a five star sumptuous dining event. When the appetizer is a London Broil and pulled brisket, puréed beans, mini tacos and micro greens, you know you are in for a treat! It was quite the task to enjoy all that gourmet food, but somehow we all managed!
The well-known speakers who imparted chizuk were sympathetic and inspirational. Personally, I felt that the highlight of the event was the eclectic panel of rebbetzins, each with a child who has special needs. They discussed how they address the highs and lows of raising a child with special needs while simultaneously balancing the needs of their community. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room as one mother shared the story of when she brought her baby home from the hospital. When her older children ran out enthusiastically to greet the new baby, she envisioned a shul ‘s sifrei Torah coming out to greet a new Torah scroll, as happens at a Hachnosas Sefer Torah. Those listening nodded in understanding as one rebbetzin spoke about the embarrassment of dealing with troubling behavior when the diagnosis was not apparent.
“I wished I could be given a label that says we aren’t bad parents; we just have a child with autism.” On a lighter note, everyone laughed when another rebbetzin recounted the embarrassing story about her son calling 911 to escort him to shul on a Yom Tov because “he changed his mind and wanted to go to shul.”
The planning that went into this event was astounding and very much appreciated.
I was so moved by the interactions I noticed happening as the women bonded with each other:the young mom talking to the veteran mom about her child and listening intently to their advice; the two women talking in hushed voices in the corner, sharing secrets that only someone in a similar situation would be able to understand without judgment; the moms discussing which support groups they belong to back home and which services and programs are the most helpful; everyone networking and getting advice. Phrases like “I wait all year for this” and “It’s the last hour before we go home and I just want to spend some more time with my new friends” is a testament to the unique opportunities the retreat provides for the mothers.
I was honored to be invited to work at the event this year. I have never worked so hard, been so sleep deprived and yet, I loved every second of it. To the women who tirelessly planned this amazing retreat: Devorah Kahn, Bracha Lavrinoff, Beilu Freund, Reizy Weingarten, I say thank you for including me.
The women who boarded the buses to go home looked and felt refreshed and renewed.
And they weren’t the only ones. I found myself sitting at my desk on Tuesday, the day after, feeling very much recharged. I was looking at the same spreadsheets, the same documents that needed to be audited, uploaded and filed, and yet I had changed. I was reminded why my work behind my computer is so important: HASC is an organization that truly supports the needs of the people in our community, and I am very proud to be part of it.
By Chani Czeladnicki, with Peshie Needleman
