Your phone dings with a new message from work and it’s your demanding boss. The kids just got home from school and are asking, “What’s for dinner?” Your friend is calling to confirm upcoming plans. The news is on TV showing images of destruction. Your mind is going a mile a minute and you are thinking about everything you have to do and yet not able to do anything at all. In a matter of minutes, these daily triggers are making you spiral to a negative place where you feel like you are drowning with no life raft in sight.

PAUSE.

You may be able to relate to these feelings and if you have experienced them in the past, you will most likely experience them again in the future. Life is happening all around us and while feeling overwhelmed means we are actively living in it, disassociating hardly allows us to be productive. In life we have no actual pause button, so we must create our own pause. We can do this by practicing grounding techniques, tools that help us stay in the present and refocus our energies to get back into a productive mindset.

Recently while walking my dog in the evening, a big gust of wind came and I felt as if it would knock me down, both physically and emotionally. My own exhaustion spiral made me assume that now I will also have to carry my dog home, just adding to the weight of my everyday tasks.

PAUSE.

I looked over to see my small dog standing with his head lifted high and taking little steps forward. I took a minute to capture the detailed image of this tough little guy in my mind. It may have seemed silly to give this much power to such a brief moment but it’s the silliness that helped refocus my energy. I used the grounding technique of imagery to help me redirect any immediate negative feelings so I could get home and take care of my responsibilities.

While speaking with a patient of mine prior to a medical appointment I noticed she was looking around the waiting room frantically. She seemed anxious, and while appropriate for the circumstances, it was interfering with her ability to focus on her upcoming appointment. When I asked her what was on her mind her response was, “I don’t know, this is all too much.”

PAUSE.

I encouraged her to put both feet and then guided her in taking five deep breaths. As I felt her energy shifting, I asked her again what was on her mind. She still said it is all too much but added that she wished her son was with her but due to work he was unable to attend. Using a grounding technique called controlled breathing, my patient was able to better organize her thoughts to address her underlying needs. This allowed me to better support her so she could follow through with being fully focused on her medical appointment.

Grounding techniques are mindfulness-based practices that allow us to stay in the present in an effort to manage strong feelings. The following are examples of activities that introduce the act of grounding to your daily routine. They can be done for as little as 30 seconds and utilized as often as needed.

Imagery: Close your eyes and think of a place that instills calm or an image that brings you meaning.

Controlled Breathing: Hold up one hand in front of you, and with the other hand trace your fingers while breathing in and out.

Five Senses: Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

Sensory Regulation: Hold an ice cube in your hand and focus on the cold sensation.

The Alphabet: Find something around you that starts with the letter A, B, C, D and so on. You may not even make it to the end of the alphabet before you start to feel more centered.

These techniques, when practiced on a regular basis, can be a strong asset in managing high intensity emotions. You can print out this list and post in an easily accessible spot to have as a reference as needed and with regular practice, it will come naturally. Overwhelming emotions do not need to make us stop, but by creating our own PAUSE, we can regain control.

Judith Sason is a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice specializing in grief, anxiety, depression, and PTSD. She is a certified clinical trauma professional and has a certification in palliative and end-of-life care from NYU. Judith focuses on empowering her clients to gain insight into challenges with their daily functioning to live a healthy meaningful life. To contact Judith for more support and to schedule an appointment, please email her at [email protected].