It is difficult to teach our children the midah of kibud av v’ame while they are growing up in our homes. Some parents feel uncomfortable expressing to their children their concern when they display “chutzpadik” behavior to them. In many cases it is written off as cute or the fact that they are “just children.”
We as parents and grandparents feel slightly uncomfortable when our children and grandchildren get up the minute that we walk into a room to show us kavod but on the other hand we share a great feeling of pride. Something here is so right. It falls into the same category as the knowledge that children have of never sitting in their father or mother’s chair. Although we so want our children to be as close to us as possible in many ways displaying behaviors that lean towards being one’s best friend, we need to know and our children need to know that at certain points they definitely need to draw a line.
Nina’s brother and his wife recently moved out of their home in West Hempstead after having lived there for most of their lives together. The following letter was written by our nephew Daniel to his parents on the night before they vacated their home. It is with a tremendous amount of pride that we are sharing it with you. Certainly it was not his original intention to have his thoughts made public. We asked his permission, as we felt there is something special in a child (especially an adult child) expressing his feelings of love and gratitude to his parents that they so rightly deserve.
Tonight I’m feeling a range of emotions about the sale of 256 School Street, scheduled to take place tomorrow, God willing. I’m sure Mom & Dad, that your senses are far more heightened as to what is about to happen. I thought it was important at this point to tell you a few things.
First of all, I wanted to thank you. I feel extremely blessed to have grown up in that house. I loved having my own room (once I was no longer afraid to go up to the 3rd floor alone), there was always plenty of space in the house, I enjoyed the back yard, my set spot in the dining room for Shabbos meals, the basketball court in the driveway (probably 4 different hoops over the years). The list could go on and on forever. My basketball games with Michael will always be among my fondest memories of living on that street not to mention the large number of kids that we hung around with while we were growing up. I’ll be eternally grateful to you for the sacrifices, the hardships and the stresses you faced over the years to keep the house functioning, air conditioned, heated, stocked with food, clean and well maintained.
It’s a difficult goodbye for me and I’m sure much more so for you. Indeed, It was many years before I felt more at home in my house in Oceanside then I did in West Hempstead. I suspect tonight, on the verge of the biggest financial transaction of your life, sleep will not come easily for either of you. Here are some really great things to think about while staring at the ceiling in your bedroom for one of the last few times.
I want you to feel proud of what you’ve accomplished. In your years in that house you’ve managed to raise three children all of whom, are looked upon as reliable members of their communities that can be counted on to help others; Albeit with our different personalities and different strengths. We are that way because of the lessons we learned in that home. We were taught hospitality, sensitivity, and the importance of family. We were taught all of those things by your great role modeling. We were reminded to daven, again and again, and it became an integral part of our lives, one we all now share and greatly endeavor to impart to your grandchildren.
Your grandchildren! What an accomplishment that all of your grandchildren from 17 years old down to 3–and everyone in between LOVED to come to your house. It was always a place of toys, warmth, card games, homemade waffles and of course, endless TV. But more than that, it was a place where they knew they were important. Whether it was a whole family visiting or just one child, there was always so much attention paid to them. I know that will not change Gd willing.
Most importantly, you should be proud of each other and the relationship you’ve nurtured co-dependently over these 35 years. I often marvel at the level of dedication you have toward each other. You’ve had the opportunity to really stand by each other through some painful physical maladies and the level of care you give each other is inspiring. You are truly a rare couple and I’m grateful that H’bhu brought you together and made me your child. You have taught me so much about parenting and your presence in my life, obviously, in my last few difficult years especially, was something I could certainly not have survived without.
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
It’s my fervent hope that all of this has come to pass in a relatively short time for a good reason. The physical ailments, the emotional difficulties & the giant move all happened in short order and I’m sure it’s all part of H-em’s Grand Plan. I daven daily, that he is now going to grant you the well deserved opportunity to enjoy each other’s company in less stressful conditions.
Thanks for the care, the memories, the lessons and the love! Here’s to many many happy new experiences in your new home God willing and in the next stage of your life! You certainly deserve it!
As Bubby would say, a zai mit mazal!
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
