I had told myself that I was going to take it easy.

(What does that mean?)

That I was going to hold my bike speed to 14 miles per hour for the first 10 miles.

(I take it that didn’t happen.)

Nope.

(So, what happened for the first 10 miles???)

I was pedaling at speeds in excess of 18 miles per hour.

(Is that fast?)

It is for me. The bike course is shaped like a lollipop. You start at the bottom of the stick and race to the point where the stick meets the candy. For the first 10 miles the road slanted ever so slightly downward, so going fast came naturally. English country roads are narrow and lined with red brick houses that are tightly packed together. Thick, neatly pruned lawns separated the houses from the road. I kept looking down the road, but I did not dare look around because…

(…where your eyes look, your hands steer?)

That, and I had to keep reminding myself not to ride on the wrong side of the road.

(Your wrong or their wrong?)

The side with the oncoming traffic.

(Oh…that side)

Precisely. At this point, I had been racing for only two hours and I was feeling pretty good…and then the hills kicked in. Hills. Lots of hills. Once I started to climb, the hills never seemed to end. Every time I would get to the top, I’d get 30 seconds of “free return.”

(Free return?)

When the astronauts in Apollo 13 had to figure out how to get home with a crippled spacecraft, they maneuvered their ship to get pulled around the dark side of the moon by gravity and then slingshot back to earth on what they called a “free return”… and that is what I call it when I crest a bike climb and gravity pulls me down the other side of the mountain.

(What would happen at the end of the “free return?”)

Another hill. The total elevation gain for this course was 7,956 feet.

(Is that a lot?)

Remember how I had problems last year on the bike course at Ironman Lake Placid?

(Uh huh)

Lake Placid is 6,562 feet.

(So, this is 1,994 more feet of climbing?)

Yes.

(Have you made out a will?)

On the first loop there were three really tough climbs with three free returns. It just felt like the hills were never going to stop coming. Every time I would catch my breath there would be another hill to start climbing. I shifted my gears more on this course than I ever had. Being that this was England and their summer weather is different than ours I packed a raincoat.

(A Burberry trench coach?)

No, I have a cycling waterproof jacket that folds up into the back pocket of my riding jersey. At the bottom of the bike course loop it was warm and summery, but up in the mountains was another story.

In Ironman we get either wind or hills. Here we got both… and a bit of rain with a noticeable temperature drop. My brain said, “Let’s put on our rain parka,” but my body said, “Nah, the wind and rain feel good.”

(I guess cycling creates a lot of heat)

I started the second loop feeling good that I was now 40 miles into the 112 miles of cycling and my average speed was higher than normal. I was beginning to enjoy this bike course with its fenced in farm animals and the occasional road crossing of said animals. The hills seemed to go by much quicker this time around. I was all smiles.

I was at mile 62, enjoying a free return when the worst possible problem kicked in: bi lateral quad cramps!

Both thigh muscles seemed to magically inflate and I rushed to unclip my right foot before I crashed my bike. Muscle spasms or “cramps” as they are called are incredibly painful. Even more painful was trying to just bend my leg a little to try pedaling again. I couldn’t get my feet back clipped onto my bike pedals. If I couldn’t start pedaling again when the free return ended, my race would be over. I had never failed before, but it appeared that this was “it.” It was time to call my wife and tell her my race was over. It was time to tell my kids that there would be no finish line celebration. It was time to tell my father, who waits up late until I finish, that I had failed…

David Roher is a USAT certified triathlon and marathon coach. He is a multi-Ironman finisher and veteran special education teacher. He is on Instagram @David Roher140.6. He can be reached at [email protected].