Thursday, September 7 2 p.m. (53 hours to go)

I bought a helmet with the American flag painted on it and biked back to my hotel to prepare for a practice swim.

(Probably a good idea to do that before race day. I mean, what could go wrong?)

Thursday, September 7 4 p.m. (51 hours to go)

It had been a busy day of prep for Sunday’s race.

(Do you usually have this much to do?)

No, but I usually drive up to the event with my bike intact and everything I need packed in my car.

(You forgot something?)

Yup.

(What?)

Read on.

I wanted to go for a swim after lunch.

(Did you wait 60 minutes after eating?)

That’s an old wives’ tale.

(But mothers have been telling their children this for generations.)

There is zero medical basis for this thinking.

(So, where does it come from?)

The 1908, “Scouting for Boys: A Handbook for Instruction in Good Citizenship.”

(The Boy Scouts?)

Yup. This book was penned by British Army officer Robert Stephenson Smyth Baden-Powell.

(Not a doctor?)

Nope, not even a mother.

(So, is it safe to swim after eating?)

I’m not advocating that you test it by gorging yourself and then swimming.

(So, it is dangerous!)

The thought was that the blood that goes to your limbs would be diverted to your stomach and your limbs would cramp. That will not happen. People tend to drink a lot of water when they eat and you may find yourself in need of a bathroom during the swim. Swimming on a full stomach, like any other strenuous activity, may not feel comfortable, but it will not cause your muscles to cramp.

(You finished lunch at 2 p.m., why are you telling us about swimming at 4 p.m.?)

I forgot my goggles.

(Your son, Stevie had swim goggles.)

I tried them on. They didn’t fit right. I was not going to wear them for a 4,000 meter swim on Sunday.

(It’s a good thing your checked now.)

It was back to the convention center … where I encountered my next problem.

(Let me guess, they don’t sell the brand you are used to wearing.)

Nope.

(What did you do?)

I asked the salesperson … after 10 minutes of reading the back of each choice.

As I wheeled my bike through the convention area, I saw my friend Jay. Jay was one of the vendors and he warned me, “You have to cover those stickers. If the officials see them they are going to disqualify you.”

My bike is covered with stickers from previous Ironman triathlons. Each one has been a challenge, so they are my reminders that you can do more than you can imagine. I needed to find tape.

(Duck tape?)

No, that would have peeled those stickers off the bike. I needed a roll of painter’s tape.

(You were in Nice, France. It’s not like there was a Benjamin Moore paint store in town.)

Google said there was. Google maps gave me a 15-minute drive away.

(So, you…)

…biked over.

(You speak French?)

No, but the store manager knew a little English.

(How much is “a little”?)

Like when you are in Israel and the locals ask you, “Attah middabear Eevreet?”

(Uh- oh.)

And you reply with, “Kitzaat.”

(So, almost not at all?)

Basically.

(So, how did you communicate?)

Google translator.

What happened next is a tribute to the kindness of strangers.

(“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”)

Oh, so now you are quoting Tennessee Williams plays?

The roll costs $9.98 … and there was a $10 minimum for charging.

(You didn’t have your wallet, what did you do?)

I explained that I was here for the Ironman and without the tape I was going to be disqualified.

(What did he respond?)

Ummm, what is the French word for “gift”?

(Cadeau.)

I used Google Maps to find my way back to my hotel. As I rode, I began to wonder what other restrictions the officials would put in place here at the Ironman World Championships that I have never had to deal with.

The finish line was less than a mile from my hotel, so on the way back to my hotel I stopped to speak to the officials in their brightly colored “referee” vests.

“I want to know if I can wear this backpack on the racecourse.”

“You can’t have a backpack.”

“Can I wear the costume?”

“That we don’t care about. You have to ask the Ironman people.”

(Now I know why it was 4 p.m.)

I had to find the Ironman officials and explain why I needed to run with a backpack.

(Why did you need to run with a backpack?)

David Roher is a USAT certified triathlon and marathon coach. He is a multi-Ironman finisher and veteran special education teacher. He is on Instagram @David Roher140.6. He can be reached at [email protected].