Wednesday, September 6 (four days to go)

(How did you keep track of all that you were doing?)

Checklists. Lots of checklists.

(Where did that leave you?)

Ready to leave for the airport … after one last “crisis…”

(The bike case?)

Yup … the bike case. It is unfair to call the oversized suitcase I use to transport my bike a case.

It’s more like a giant carryon bag.

(Lemme guess, it wouldn’t close?)

No, this was our fourth time flying with the “new” bike case. We had learned that to close the zipper you had to pull and lift the case up in the air.

(Like trying to close your pants after eating too much?)

Yeah, kinda like that. No, the new problem was the tags on the zipper broke off.

(So, how were you supposed to close the bike case now?)

I had to think of something. Randy Jerome was going to be picking us up for the airport in 20 minutes.

(Do you always leave things for the last minute?)

Yes.

(Why? Why do you do that to yourself?)

It’s a mindset.

(It’s intentional???)

Yup. I try to do as many things as I can in a day.

(Don’t you enjoy sitting still?)

Only if there’s a book in my hands.

(So, nu? What happened to the bike case)

I had bought replacement zipper tags off an ad on my Instagram last year.

(How did Instagram know, in advance?)

Darned if I know.

(What is your Instagram?)

It’s in my bio. So, for the third time in eight weeks, we all piled into Randy Jerome’s van for a flight to an Ironman event. By now Randy had become an expert at packing a bicycle into a minivan.

(How hard can that be?)

Have you ever played Tetris? If you get one piece of luggage wrong, you have to unload the van and start all over again.

(Can’t you just push things in?)

And that is why you don’t get to handle my bicycle.

By now the airport had become old hat.

(Doesn’t that phrase mean out of style?)

Yes, it also means common place. The expression dates back to 1911 … in case you were wondering.

We skipped self-check-in. We stood on-line and people watched as we waited to check our luggage. We learned in the past that my “oversized” bag, AKA my bike, had to be checked in by a human.

As a sociology undergrad major, I find airport people are a microcosm of society. You just have to stop and observe.

(Parents with screaming children?)

Check.

(Rushed traveler with overstuffed suitcase about to burst?)

Check.

(Elderly couple with what appears to be all of their belongings in matching luggage?)

Check.

(How about “non-digital-papers-falling-out-of-their-pockets” traveler?)

Them too.

(Did anyone ask you “What is in the giant case?”)

Yes.

(What did you tell them?)

A shoulder launch missile for President Zelensky.

(Did your wife scold you with, “Shut up. You are going to be the reason we miss our flight!”?)

Without missing a beat.

(Every one of your articles ends with a problem. What was the next problem?)

We breezed through security and found seats at our gate. I may have been on vacation from my job, but I still had a graduate school paper to complete. It was due on Sunday, but I was going to be busy that coming Sunday … swimming, biking and running. I knew that after the race I would hug my family, call my dad and go to sleep. There was no way I was going to write a paper then.

(So, you don’t wait for the last minute on everything.)

I opened my laptop and waited to connect to the airport Wifi … and waited … and waited….

David Roher is a USAT certified triathlon and marathon coach. He is a multi-Ironman finisher and veteran special education teacher. He is on Instagram @David Roher140.6. He can be reached at [email protected].