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December 14, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

It’s Not Cool to Be Cruel

Dear Shayna B.,

I love reading your advice column and I look forward to seeing it every single week. I have a friend who goes to camp with me and she is very nice (usually). Recently, she has been getting very mean and making rude comments to me and I don’t know how to tell her to stop. What should I do?

I hope you can help!

Sincerely,

Betrayed Becca

Dear Betrayed Becca,

Tell her you don’t appreciate her rude comments. Tell her if she wants to continue being friends, don’t be mean. If it’s too embarrassing for you to say something, avoid her. If she personally comes over to you and says something cruel, vicious, demeaning, insane, mean and disturbing, you have to speak up. You can tell an administrator or a parent, or even a grandparent, but you can’t let her insults continue. You can also try being nice. Huh? She’ll be too confused to continue insulting you. Let me explain what l mean. Let’s give your camp friend a mysterious name. Ooh ooh, l know! Sara! That’s not very mysterious, but okay.

Sara: That’s an ugly shirt.

You: Thanks, l picked it out myself. I like your shirt, too.

Sara: Ugh. *walks away*

Sara: Yuck. Your shoes are so you.

You: That was really hurtful. I really like these shoes. Please don’t say that again.

Sara: Don’t tell me.

You: Fine I won’t. I’ll tell the teacher. Have fun in the office. Toodles!

End of conversation.

I think these examples are beneficial, so I’ll give one of you telling your parent or administrator. Let’s call this person Mom.

You: There’s this girl being mean to me.

Mom: Oh no! Let’s talk to her mother. What’s her name? Becca, get out the directory. We’re about to make a call.

If my advice doesn’t work, l know a good therapist who’d be happy to see the girl who’s mean.

Best of luck,

Shayna B.


Shayna is a fifth grader and understands what kids in elementary school are going through. Contact her at [email protected] / 00000

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