We are writing this on Cyber Monday! We can’t escape it. Every other message in our inbox is something on special. Too bad that we don’t need anything but it doesn’t really matter because it is very tempting to just look to see what the offers are. Everything from underwear to winter coats, shoes to mechanics, books to jewelry, there seem to be no bounds. What is it all really about—just attaining more stuff! We are experts on “stuff” because when you move long distance you realize how very many inconsequential things you really have.
We are guilty, as well, of buying things that look like great deals and somehow they sit and we never get to use them. Recently Nina bought an extra charger for her Samsung Galaxy. She thought that it would be helpful when Mordechai was in the hospital having his knee replaced. It seemed so practical to have an extra charger on hand. Excuse us for admitting that we never really figured out how to use it. It is not because we did not try. We did ask our grandchildren, who are our computer gurus. The problem is that their explanations are so simple (they think) and we have absolutely no idea of what they are talking about. As a result, instead of looking dumb, it just sits in the box. It was easy. In the hospital there were plenty of outlets where Nina could plug in her phone to charge. Did we need that charger—absolutely not, but it was a great deal.
Last year, on Black Friday, Nina made her traditional trek to Target with her granddaughters to buy all of the bargains. At the time we were thinking of buying a new TV—we were told that we needed a “smart one.” So together with all of the other hordes of people grabbing and schlepping TVs, Nina bought one as well. The man in the store told her she also needed to buy “something” in a small box that looks like two prongs. Of course, she bought it. He assured her how lucky she was as there was only one left at such a fantastic price. We still to this day have no idea of what “that something” is. We returned the TV as it wasn’t “smart enough.” It didn’t show captions, which is important, as one of us is hard of hearing. Somehow, the box with “that thing” is still hanging around.
One day we were walking through a store and, lo and behold, they had “chopsticks” for dummies. Some sort of plastic chopsticks that will ensure that you don’t drop the sushi when you pick it up. Even better is the fact that the chopsticks were on sale. Since we must confess that neither of us have mastered the art of eating sushi without either using our fingers or a fork, we grabbed at the chance to get these chopsticks. Somehow, in the tumult of leaving the store and coming home, one set of the chopsticks seems to have disappeared and the other sits in a drawer all by itself. No one has to see the way that we eat sushi in our home anyway. We think of Nina’s father who was so German that he probably would have eaten sushi with a fork and knife; in thinking of it further, he probably would not have touched sushi.
Probably the most ridiculous thing that we moved with was a box of 100 yahrzeit candles. It was on sale—a very big special that Nina could not resist! It would come in handy if we were to have a repeat of Hurricane Sandy, chas v’shalom, and when Hurricane Sandy devastated this community, making our welcome feel not too certain, our belongings had not yet arrived. We could not even have made use of the candles.
There was a great deal on a printer when we moved here. We had left our printer, which was slightly broken, in Montreal. Our new printer has many options. So far we have managed to figure out how to print. Nina knows how to scan. Skip the fax machine—too many wires—no idea where to connect them. We just pick up and go to Staples if we need to fax something. It is so much easier. However, the printer was a great deal!
Whoops—it is time to get back to our emails. We still have two and a half more hours until Cyber Monday is over. We definitely don’t want to miss any more amazing sales. There must be many things that are great specials that we will have no idea how to use. However, no one wants to pass up a good deal! We have to keep watching—they might extend Cyber Monday to Tuesday!
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
