Reviewing: “This Haggadah is The Way: A Star Wars Unofficial Passover Parody,” by Martin Bodek. Lulu.com. Paperback. 174 pages. 2023. ISBN-10: 1304854507.
I might have thought I was a major fan of the “Star Wars” franchise. After all, I’ve seen all (except one) of the nine canonical movies, as well as “Rogue One” and “Solo” and all the episodes of the streaming “Mandalorian,” “Andor” and “Ahsoka” series. Surely I know “Star Wars,” right?
Reading through Martin Bodek’s “This Haggadah is the Way: A Star Wars Unofficial Passover Parody,” I was humbled to learn that only in a galaxy far, far away will I ever be considered anything more than a Jedi Padawan. (In “Star Wars” lingo, that’s an unpolished trainee. That much I can tell you with confidence.)
Martin Bodek is known to many of us as the weekly “Cuff Links” columnist for The Jewish Link, a status that has often earned him first-class seating on New York subways and high-end customer treatment at Marshalls stores throughout the region. Bodek’s columns each showcase one of his sets of cuff links, along with a challenge to find the connection between that particular clothing accessory and the weekly Torah portion.
Bodek is also distinguished for his work as a humorist who has now published five parody Haggadot— “The Emoji Haggadah,” “The Festivus Haggadah” (for those not in the know, that’s a Seinfeld-themed Seder companion), “The Coronavirus Haggadah,” “The Shakespeare Haggadah” and now, “This Haggadah is the Way.” He also writes on serious communal issues, and his essays have been published in The Denver Post, The Washington Times, Country Yossi magazine, and other publications.
I asked Bodek which of his prior Haggadot had the greatest commercial success and he replied: “‘The Emoji Haggadah’ is far and away my most successful. It appeals to a broad demographic, and the cover begs for the inside to be perused.” I then asked him which Haggadah received the most critical success and he told me: “‘The Shakespeare Haggadah’ got me the most impressive press (Times of Israel, Jewish Chronicle, Yahoo!) and got me on interesting podcasts.”
“The Haggadah is the Way” has the potential to rival its older peers in its appeal to the masses of avid fans of “Star Wars.” (As one measure of the “Star Wars” fandom’s reach, “Rogue One” achieved a worldwide total of $1.057 billion in ticket sales and was ranked third on Deadline Hollywood’s list of 2016’s “Most Valuable Blockbusters.”)
For a taste of the sharp humor and the vast knowledge of all things “Star Wars” in “The Haggadah is the Way,” here’s Bodek’s “translation” of the Ma Nishtana:
“What differentiates this galaxy from all other galaxies? In all other galaxies we have multiple apprentices per master; in this galaxy, only two there are; a master, and an apprentice. In all other galaxies, planets generally have multiple climates; in this galaxy, planets generally have but one. In all other galaxies, “parsec” is a measure of distance; in this galaxy it is a measure of time. In all other galaxies, elite units can both aim at and hit their targets, and also dodge bullets and weapons fire; in this galaxy they cannot. In all other galaxies, those who achieve grand military victories get medals; in this galaxy, the Wookie gets overlooked. In all other galaxies, a Death Star would cost approximately 15.6 septillion dollars; in this galaxy, the Empire can afford to build two. In all other galaxies, an enemy facing off against someone with a laser sword could use the Force to switch it off; in this galaxy, this doesn’t dawn on anyone. In all other galaxies, robots do not feel pain; in this galaxy, they’re tortured pretty frequently. In all other galaxies, orphans are curious about both their father and mother; in this galaxy, Luke only ever expresses interest in his father.”
Bodek’s interpretation of the Haggadah in the “Star Wars” universe is extensive and thorough: The four cups each become a “Cup of Bantha Milk,” the benching becomes a tribute to the Force, Sephiras HaOmer marks a countdown to “May the Fourth,” and Chad Gadya tells the story of “One Droid.”
“This Haggadah is the Way” is a fun and funny reimagining of the Haggadah, which will surely add spice to your Seder. I encourage you to read this parody Haggadah but, if you do, please turn off your lightsaber first; you could hurt someone with that thing if you’re distracted. And you will be.
P.S. I just had to ask Bodek, “What’s next?” He confided in me, in a low and conspiratorial voice: “I usually keep this kind of thing on the down-low, but I’m going to change tactics, because my idea needs some crowdsourcing, and I’m going to ask the masses to pitch in. Drumroll … it’s ‘The Dad Jokes Haggadah.’ The idea came from a Facebook post where someone asked why such a thing doesn’t exist. I’ll make sure it exists. Let’s start now: If you’re a dad, or if you like one or know one, and you have jokes, send them over to [email protected]. Let’s work together.”
Harry Glazer is the Middlesex County Editor of The Jewish Link. He is deeply disappointed that his father didn’t raise him to be a Mandalorian. Harry can be reached at
[email protected]
