Most children who have attended synagogue have experienced the highs and lows of Junior Congregation. In theory, Junior Congregation is supposed to be a kid-friendly version of the adult service, but run almost entirely by kids for kids. In reality, Junior Congregation is so much more. It’s where children learn how to find a good seat, angle for an aliyah and kibbitz without being spied by the rabbi.
Not every shul uses the “Junior Congregation” moniker. Some refer to Junior Congregation as Mini Minyan, Torah Toddlers, Young Yids, Juvenile Jews and Kiddie Kiddush. Whatever the name, most shuls have not expanded the junior concept beyond the shul service. In other words, few if any shuls have created a junior board of directors, junior clergy, junior bookkeepers or junior executive directors. For obvious reasons, shuls also do not have junior security guards because even if they were armed with nerf-guns and throwing candy, it would still be an absolutely terrible idea.
The Talmud does not specifically discuss the concept of Junior Congregation. More generally, however, the Talmud notes that a parent should teach a child Torah and related topics and whoever does so receives credit as though the parent has taught the child and their progeny “until the end of all generations.” (Kiddushin 30a) Junior Congregation can be an integral part of this process.
Junior Congregation also is a rites of passage and a necessary gauntlet in which children learn the ropes of group prayer and congregational life. This essential training can turn kids into cantors, rascals into rabbis and pipsqueaks into presidents. It is in Junior Congregation that Jews learn how to navigate the Torah reading, chant Musaf, deliver a D’var Torah, compete to be honored at the shul’s annual dinner and guilt their fellow junior congregants into making donations to the shul’s kiddush fund.
Junior Congregation also is where most children are first exposed to an incredibly vital element of the synagogue service: the announcements. A synagogue service without announcements is like a (i) baseball game without the seventh inning stretch, (ii) a bar/bat mitzvah without a video montage and (iii) a Passover seder without “Echad Mi Yodeya.”
Of course, any announcements made during Junior Congregation need to be age-appropriate. Here are some examples:
(1) Mazel tov to Sammy Incisorwitz on losing his last baby tooth. Remember, never lie about your dental status and always tell the tooth.
(2) Mazel tov to Rivky Dumbledorsky on reading every single Harry Potter book ever published. Clearly, you found such literature to be completely spell-binding.
(3) Condolences to Sarah Gillstein on the loss of her pet gold fish. May you only know of simchas and may your next pet be a pet rock.
(4) Condolences to Ari Appleton on losing his iPhone for the tenth time this week. May you once again reclaim it at the Lost & Found.
(5) Mazel tov to Jonah Bucksberg on winning his fantasy football league and donating the winnings to the Junior Congregation kiddush fund.
(6) Mazel tov to Helen Multitaskenberg on arranging all by herself and successfully attending five separate playdates on the same shabbos.
(7) Condolences to Stewart Lostman on losing his baby brother in the produce section of the supermarket… but mazel tov for finding him in the bakery.
(8) Mazel tov to Melanie Advancsky on learning how to tie her shoes, ride a bike and post on Instagram, all at the same time.
(9) Mazel tov to Daniel Gamestein on beating his previous high score in Super Mario Bros. 2.
(10) Mazel tov to Shira Bookstein on obtaining her first library card and for pulling herself away from her iPhone long enough to read a book.
(11) Mazel tov to Zachary Heldbackberg on finally graduating elementary school. Luckily, the third time was the charm.
Final Thought: If announcements in Junior Congregation need to be age-appropriate, then it stands to reason that announcements for a congregation of octogenarians, i.e., Senior Congregation, also should be age-appropriate. Here are a few examples of announcements you might hear in a Senior Congregation:
(1) This week’s early bird special will be even earlier than usual.
(2) This week’s kiddush will feature an assortment of dietetic cookies and freshly-squeezed prune juice.
(3) Last week someone accidentally took a walker that belongs to Barbara Schlepewitz. If you have it, please notify the shul and stay put. We’ll come to you.
(4) Mazel tov to Frank Luckenthal on ten consecutive Bingo victories.
(5) Mazel tov to Sylvia Forgetstein on remembering the names of all of her grandchildren.
By Jon Kranz
