According to recent statistics, one in six couples will face infertility. This can be a painful challenge for any couple, but in the Jewish community, where so much of daily life revolves around children, difficulty turning a “couple” into a “family” leaves one feeling constantly on the outskirts of social life, in addition to the constant pain felt by the absence of a child. Everyone chooses to deal with their fertility story in a different manner, and even in today’s world of social media and constant sharing, many keep their struggles private, leaving friends and family wondering what they can do to help without seeming intrusive.
On Motzei Shabbat, February 23, the Bergen County community is invited to show support for an organization that does know what to do for those challenged with infertility. Bonei Olam, an organization providing informational resources and financial assistance to cover the prohibitive costs of fertility treatments and medical procedures, will be holding its Bergen County event at Keter Torah.
“The Bonei Olam event is one for the entire community,” said Avrami Koenig, who together with Aviva Distenfeld and Nina Eizikovitz will co-chair the evening. “This is an evening for the community to come out on everyone’s behalf and to create an environment that helps each couple achieve their dream of becoming parents. It does not matter if you have been challenged with infertility or not; this is an evening for everyone.”
With advances in science across the medical spectrum, the world of infertility has undergone its own metamorphosis as well. What was once a journey to help a couple become pregnant now has a strong focus on the genetic component of infertility. “So much research has gone into pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, or PGD, where doctors can isolate genetic abnormalities to help a couple have a healthy child,” explained Dr. Distenfeld, a member of the Bergenfield community. This means that not only can the couple hope to have a baby, but by isolating the gene, carrier status is also removed from future generations.
Bonei Olam also provides fertility preservation in the event of a cancer diagnosis, adoption services, interest-free loans if needed, and assistance with insurance coverage and policies. Funds raised at the February 23 event will stay within the community. Using the Bergen County specific link online, making a donation at the event or sending donations back in the envelope arriving with the invitation will all ensure the money stays earmarked for the community.
Obviously, the Motzei Shabbat event is a fundraiser to help subsidize the enormous costs a couple will face during the fertility process, but at the same time this evening is also one of encouragement. Encouragement that an organization exists within our community to help couples facing infertility, and encouragement that this is something friends and family support, value and want to help with, even if the couple is not ready to talk about it openly.
Eizikovitz has been profoundly impacted by what Bonei Olam can do. “You never know who might be benefiting from Bonei Olam,” she said. “It can be your neighbor, your friend or your family member. This is something important for us to support.”
“We want everyone in the community, all ages, friends and family to feel welcome next Motzei Shabbat,” said Koenig. “There is no charge and no RSVP required because anyone should feel welcome to show up. Infertility is such a sensitive topic, but so important for our community to be involved in.”
Now for the fun part. During the mingling, delicious buffet and sharing of eye-opening information, world-renowned food personality Naomi Nachman will be hosting a short Chopped competition featuring four teams (two teams of men and two teams of women) made up of members of the community who volunteered to compete. With judges from Teaneck’s delicious restaurant The Humble Toast, Instagram celebrity and kosher foodie Kosher Guru, and Ruthy Bodner of @JustOneBite201, the audience will have an entertaining firsthand experience as they watch their fellow Bergen County colleagues compete for the accolades of these food connoisseurs.
The entire community is invited to join Bonei Olam of Bergen County for this entertaining and important evening, Motzei Shabbat, February 23, at 8:30 p.m., Congregation Keter Torah, 600 Roemer Avenue, Teaneck, NJ 07666.
“Bonei Olam believes that everyone should have the opportunity to become parents,” said Distenfeld. “Please come and support this organization helping couples right here in our community.”
By Jenny Gans
