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November 17, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Let’s talk about something no one likes to talk about: Death.

We need to talk about it because there is a crisis, and it’s getting worse. Every year, tens of thousands of Jews are not receiving the traditional, honorable Jewish burial that they deserve.

I personally know a few of them. Beautiful and caring people who didn’t receive a Jewish burial simply because they didn’t know any better. They had no idea of the meaning, the holiness and the beauty of a Jewish burial, so they chose something else.

Unfortunately, many of them even chose to be cremated.

So we need to start the conversation.

The first step is to get educated. Thank God, I had the enormous privilege to see first hand what Jewish burial looks like—and not only as a rabbi who officiates at funerals. I was part of a chevra kadisha, a holy Jewish burial society, for six years.

I was part of a small but dedicated group that would prepare the body for burial. Let me tell you about the sense of dignity that the body is being treated with, which is parallel to none. Let me tell you about the full attention to every little detail in the process.

But most importantly, let me tell you about the feeling of holiness. Yes, holiness. The moments we all gathered around the coffin after we finished the preparation and the tahara (purification), asking the deceased forgiveness if—God forbid—we caused him any pain in the process.

During those moments we felt part of his family. It may have been someone we never met, from a family we never heard of, yet we became part of his journey.

And this is why we need to talk about it.

Because death is not the end of the journey; it’s only one more step. As the soul is shedding its bodily layer and continues on its spiritual journey, we are granted the opportunity and ability to have a positive impact on that journey.

And giving it the traditional and holy burial is the best gift we can give.

So let’s bring up this topic. Talk with your relatives, your friends, your co-workers. Tell them about the soul, about its journey and about the Jewish burial.

Together we can ensure that every soul receives the send-off from this world to the next in a way that it deserves.


Rabbi Mendy Kaminker is the rabbi of Chabad Hackensack. He can be reached at [email protected].

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