It was late April at Yeshivat Ahavat Simcha of Queens and Emma Krause was finishing off her first year as student council president. Emma was the second seventh grader in YAS Queens history to serve as president, and she was thinking about ways to earn reelection. As Emma walked home from school with her best friend, Geulah Katz, they decided to hold a brainstorming session. Between Emma and Geulah, about 10 ideas were proposed and rejected, including a school-wide leapfrog contest in honor of “Frog Ba’Omer” and bringing all the students into the lunchroom and declaring independence from the faculty in honor of Yom Ha’atzmaut. With their brains exhausted from thinking and their sides hurting from laughing, Emma and Geulah decided to stop for an energy boost—iced coffee.
The girls sat sipping their lattes and skimming through their phones. “Hey, Emma, did you see the status Rachel posted? The video of that guy juggling gefilte fish?” “I did,” responded Geulah, while still looking at her phone, “I think it was from the season finale of Queens Jews Got Talent.” At that moment, the girls looked up at each other with wide smiles. Geulah spoke first. “Emma, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Emma smiled even wider. “Yes! Live Gefilte Fish Juggling Show!” Geulah laughed. “No. No. Let’s do YAS Queens Got Talent!” Emma quickly composed herself. “Yes, Geulah. Of course. That’s exactly what I meant.”
So Emma and her student government got to work on the talent show. They made posters, recruited volunteers, and started raising money toward making the greatest event YAS Queens had ever seen. Also, as it turned out, one member of the student government was actually the niece of the gefilte juggler, Fishel Fishman, so they had their celebrity host! Of all the students, the most excited seemed Geulah, who was known for her singing and dancing. On any given day you could walk through the middle school hallway and spot Geulah practicing her moves or hear her singing the latest songs. Geulah was definitely one of the favorites to win the talent show, and she knew it too.
Two weeks before the big event, Geulah began to get her act together. She made a list of songs and dance moves and started mixing and matching. Eventually, Geulah came up with a routine that made her happy, and she was ready to start practicing. But first, she needed some inspiration. Geulah did a quick Google search and came across what she thought was the perfect video. The clip was a mashup of the most talented and inspiring dancers, and, of course, was set to music. Geulah did not recognize the song, but the lyrics were what caught her attention. Actually the “lyrics” were just one phrase repeated over and over: “Dance like there’s nobody watching.” Geulah closed her eyes and just listened to the words over and over, imagining herself dancing.
However, the imaginary Geulah was struggling to dance. Her timing was off, she stumbled a few times, and eventually just stopped dancing. After a few seconds, (the real) Geulah opened her eyes, took a few deep breaths, restarted the video, and closed her eyes. Once again, the Geulah on the imaginary stage stumbled around like someone who had never danced before. Geulah opened her eyes and noticed that she was shaking. Thrown off by this failed daydream, Geulah decided not to practice, and instead started to get ready for bed. Maybe she just needed some sleep. Maybe she would dance better in her dreams.
However, sleep did not help, although Geulah did dream about dancing. In her dream, Geulah was up on stage at school, but the auditorium was completely empty. Geulah knew it was time to perform, but why dance without an audience? “Don’t worry; just dance like nobody’s watching” came a voice from the back of the room. “Who said that!?” shouted Geulah across the auditorium. “Just dance like nobody’s watching,” repeated the mysterious voice. Suddenly, the music from the video started blasting, but Geulah was frozen in place. She wanted to dance, but she couldn’t. She wanted to move, but she couldn’t. The music got louder and faster until it transformed into a loud alarm sound. Geulah awoke with a start.
“Phew. Just a dream,” thought Geulah. But was it? Geulah felt different and calmer than she had in a long time. Her mind went to her dream and to dancing, but suddenly Geulah had no interest in dancing at all. She went through her morning routine and waited for Emma to swing by for their walk to school. “So, Geulah, do you have your routine ready? Did you start practicing?” Geulah looked at her friend. “Emma, I think I’m done with dancing. In fact, I don’t think I ever really loved to dance.” Emma was shocked. “But you’re so good at it. Everyone knows it.” Geulah smiled. “I know, but that’s exactly it. I think I dance because people expect it of me, and because it brings me positive attention. But if nobody was watching, I don’t think I’d enjoy dancing.” Emma shrugged. “Whatever works for you. But what about the talent show? Are you going to perform?” Geulah nodded. “Yep. But I’m going to go with my true love—juggling gefilte fish!”
In Parshat Toldot we are introduced to Yaakov and Esav. Esav is described as a “man of the field,” always out in the open, where everyone can see him. Yaakov is called a “tent-dweller,” someone who lives out of the public eye. A public person, like Esav, is influenced by those around him. What do people think? What can I do so people will like me? This person might do great things—Esav was known for his kibud av—but maybe for the wrong reasons. If you really want to know what matters to someone, see how they act when nobody (or almost nobody) is watching.
Yair Daar can be reached at [email protected].
