We realize that we are not normal. We get really excited over minor things that we do to make each other happy that others would probably either not notice or take for granted. Here’s a good example: Nina was ecstatic when Mordechai had the car washed. Most people think this sort of thing is trivial.
One of us could care less if the exterior of the vehicle is dirty and the interior needs heavy duty vacuuming. The other of us can’t help but notice that after a round trip to Montreal, the vehicle looks like it’s driven through the Tundra, and the interior looks and smells like Fresh Kills on Staten Island. A small task was a significant show of caring to Nina.
Nina knows I love cherries and will buy them out of season even when they are ridiculously expensive (maybe only ten of them) because she wants to show her beloved how important he is to her.
We remember the days when our daughters came home from elementary school and complained their classmates were eating exotic fruits for lunch in the middle of winter (probably peaches and plums) and we would tell them that we only buy those when they are in season. It is much easier to splurge at this stage in our lives when there are only two of us.
A friend told us that last Friday morning he went to a small makolet (Israeli grocery) in Kew Gardens and stood on line as he waited to pay for his milk, chatting with others. It suddenly hit him that exactly one Friday before that people were standing on line in Paris waiting to pay for their groceries when the unthinkable happened and terrorists entered the store.
How many surviving family members thought about what they should have done or should have said to their beloved before they were murdered in this atrocity? Nina remembered she was in the hospital attending to her father when the doctor came in and told her that she didn’t think that he would live through the night. She immediately called her brother who had taken a brief respite from staying with her in the hospital. The first words out of his mouth were “How can that be—I have so much I have to tell him.”
We make it a point of never forgetting to tell our family members how much we appreciate them—how much we love them—what they mean to us. To this day, Nina always reminds her daughters and her son of how gorgeous they are! Slightly prejudiced, even though it is true.
None of us should have to wait for a tragedy to realize how fortunate we are to have the people who are closest to us in our lives. This obviously includes friends. A surprise of a grand vacation to an exotic resort is lovely but not everyone can take the time or the money to do that. However much more doable is a one or two night rendezvous at a not so far away location. Thoughtfulness can be the ultimate as a sign of caring and loving. Never wait for the right moment—it always passes us by.
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
