Throughout Bereishit, we are intrigued by various stories of lies and deception. Many of these stories involve our revered patriarchs and matriarchs. What do we make of these stories? What sort of life lessons are we and our children being taught?

For example, we read that Avraham deceives both Pharaoh and King Avimelech, saying that his wife, Sarah, is really his sister. Avraham believed that if not for this “white lie,” Sarah would have been taken for immoral purposes and he would have been murdered. He apparently believed that deception in such circumstances was not only ethically defensible, it was a moral obligation, in order to preserve a life—his own.

We see several additional examples of deception throughout Bereishit, as noted by Rabbi Yitzchak Etshalom.

• • Yitzchak is deceived by Yaakov into giving him the blessing meant for Eisav. He is prompted and aided by Rivka.
• • Yitzchak is deceived by Rivka, who claims that she wants to send Yaakov away for marriage purposes when it is really to save Yaakov’s life.
• • Lavan fools Yaakov into marrying Leah before Rachel—thus getting her married off and gaining seven more “free” years of labor from Yaakov.
• • Rachel lies to her father about the idols she stole from his house.
• • Lavan manipulates Yaakov’s wages “10 times.”
• • Yaakov misleads Eisav about his plans to join him in Se’ir.
• • The sons of Yaakov dupe the citizens of Shechem into a mass circumcision—and then pillage the town in revenge for the rape of Dina.
• • Yosef’s brothers fool their father into thinking that Yosef has been killed by an animal.
• • Tamar fools Yehudah into thinking that she is a harlot.
• • Potiphar’s wife lies to her husband, getting Yosef thrown into the royal jail.
• • Yosef maintains his disguise with his brothers, not revealing their relationship until Yehudah’s bold stand.
• • Yosef has his brothers lie to Pharaoh about their source of livelihood, saying they were merely shepherds.
• • The brothers lie to Yosef about Yakov’s deathbed wishes.

The Mishnah (Sotah 1:7) states: “According to one’s behavior, they (Heaven) behave with him.” This kind of retribution is known as midah keneged midah (measure for measure). As a result of the various acts of deception, specific consequences occurred and may have been linked as follows:

Yaakov’s masquerading as Eisav was linked, in the Midrash, to Lavan’s successful deception regarding his daughters.

The same animal used to fool Yitzchak into thinking he was eating venison (“for the taste of goat meat is similar to that of venison”—Rashi at 27:9) is used to replicate human blood on Yosef’s tunic.

As a result of Rivka’s claiming that the reason to send Yaakov away was to find a wife, Eisav eventually marries into Yishmael’s family. Rivka’s misleading statement regarding the reason for sending Yaakov away motivated Eisav to erroneously think that he could get the favored blessing this way.

By fooling Yaakov into marrying Leah, the order of tribes was inverted so that the eldest was not the son of Rachel, as it should have been. This led to much of the sibling rivalry troubles in Yaakov’s family, especially regarding Yosef.

The Midrash explicitly links the deception of that fateful wedding night with the deception practiced by the brothers on their father regarding Yosef’s “disappearance.” (Bereishit Rabbah 84:10).

This one (wedding) night of deception in which both Rachel and Leah conspired together also kept Yaakov from returning to Canaan for anywhere between seven and 13 years. He worked seven extra years in order to marry Rachel and an additional six years to make his own fortune.

Rachel’s lie to her father regarding the idols leads to Yaakov unwittingly cursing his beloved Rachel to die young.

The deception of Shechem may be connected to Shechem being the location where the brothers cast Yosef into the pit.

When the brothers sent Yosef’s tunic, covered with goat’s blood, to their father Yaakov, they declared: “This have we found; haker na (discern, I beg you) whether it is your son’s coat or not.” When Yehudah (generally assumed to be the one who engineered that deception; see 37:26-27) was fooled by Tamar, she revealed herself with that selfsame phrase: When she was brought out, she sent the staff and signet ring to her father-in-law, saying, “By the man whose these are am I with child; and she said, haker na (Discern, I beg you), whose are these, the signet, and bracelets, and staff.”

There is an interesting consequence to Mrs. Potiphar’s duplicitous behavior: Yosef, whom she so desired, marries her daughter. By lying and sending Yosef to jail, she catalyzed a sequence of events that led to his marriage with her daughter and her permanent relegation to the role of mother-in-law, putting him out of her reach.

By convincing Pharaoh that the brothers were all shepherds, Yosef located them together in Goshen. This was, admittedly, Yosef’s goal—to keep the family together. Several generations later, however, this made the Egyptian oppression that much easier to enforce.

When Yaakov deceived his father, he was following his mother’s advice, based on a prophecy she received about his destiny. Although his act might have been justified, it left its mark. He was forced to delve into the world of deception in order to gain what was his by Divine fiat. Yet, that descent left its mark and the consequences were felt for the ages. In other words, just because an act is permissible or, better yet, the proper response to a given situation, does not always absolve the actor of the consequences of that act. Yaakov continued the justified and successful manipulation of the truth within the family but he may have paid a dear price for it for many years.

The Gemara cites instances where deception is allowed for the sake of peace or for the sake of discretion. The Chasam Sofer was quoted as having once condoned the raising of funds for a poor talmid chacham, allowing the charity collector to pretend that it was for “hachnasat kallah,” helping a bride get started, since people would be more sympathetic to the cause. During the Holocaust, thousands of Jews used forged documents, were deceptive or outright lied to avoid becoming victims of the Nazi regime.

Is lying or deception to be condoned? Is it to be condemned? This is probably one of the more difficult concepts that we struggle with in Sefer Bereishit. In fact, lying and deception have become increasingly pervasive in our lives. Many students now cheat in school. Many adults bend the rules when it comes to paying their taxes. Many couples tell little white lies to each other, and many children aren’t completely honest with their parents. Perhaps this is the concept we are meant to confront and struggle with when we read these accounts in the Torah. What is right and what is wrong? May Hashem help us answer these questions for ourselves so that we are able to live righteous lives with a clear conscious.

By Rabbi Dr. Avi Kuperberg

Rabbi Dr. Avi Kuperberg is a forensic, clinical psychologist in private practice. He is president of the Chai Riders Motorcycle Club of NY/NJ. He leads the Summit Avenue Shabbos Gemara shiur and minyan in Fair Lawn, NJ, and is a member of the International Rabbinical Society. He can be reached at [email protected].