There’s not a single major Jewish publication in the tri-state area (I believe I’ve scanned them all) that has escaped the reverberation of the echo chamber.

In case your Shabbos table is one of the few where the topic of the “Mahwah Eruv” has not been rehashed, then let me rehash it for you here. To quote Srully Epstein (“Good Fences, Good Neighbors, The Jewish Link, August 3, 2017): “The month of Av got off to an unpleasant start last week with a petition circulating online to ‘Protect the Quality of Our Community in Mahwah,’ a New Jersey town, barely 15 miles from my home in Bergenfield. The petition calls on the local electric company to ‘remove all eruvs from our Township and revoke all permissions for future installations.’ An eruv, the petition explains, is ‘used by the Hasidic sect,’ and its removal is ‘in order to prevent further illegal incursions into our community.’”

Then starts the seamless echo, like a choreographed ballet, where each hands the baton off to the next. The code of honor amongst brothers is understood. “Don’t really think about what you’re saying. Don’t investigate the true drivers of the story. Just repeat it like a mantra: Anti-Semitism…”

There’s a potpourri to pick from, but let’s keep it local.

Srully Epstein: “Never before have I actually felt the sting of anti-Semitism so up-close and personal. I was disgusted and depressed.” (For the record I’m a lifelong fan and friend of Srully, his writings, opinions, and I applaud his article here.)

Justin Feldman: “Sure, I had heard about anti-Semitic current events, but they never hit close to home. Until this past Thursday night.”

And, Michael Cohen: “Let’s work together to defeat hate speech, and stereotyping, and replace it with civil discourse and dialogue.”

Well… what if we rather work together to consider another possibility.

What if we consider what happens when we drop that victim cloak, ’cause y’know it’s a funny thing—and by funny, I mean tragic—that here too, as with most every news story, the hot buttons of the masses, and the reality, are dearly departed from each other, and close to never dancing together.

As of just 10 days ago I had yet another personal meeting with another of the government personnel of Ramapo, where I live. She was watching her dog run and play, while I was playing with my motorcycle, trying to make it run. Inside the privacy of my head, unshared with her, I was amazed at how she knew every last detail, it seemed, of every last player, and the backroom deals that have taken place here in the Greater Monsey domain. “Well, that’s just there in Ramapo,” you might think, and say, “What does that have to do with Mahwah?” Well, if you think the phone lines are down between Mahwah and Ramapo … those wires are not being taken down anytime soon. They’re right across the Mahwah River.

Here’s the thing. The next time you point your fingers because your plan fell through, look down at your hand, and you’ll notice (maybe) that you’ve got three more fingers pointing back at you. It’s called taking achreyut, taking responsibility for what befalls you.

Looking over the Mahwah River, from their perspective, you see some ugly realities. And as a fellow human being—not a Jewish one, or gentile one, or a black one, or white one, not a tall one, or skinny one, or rich one, or poor one—just simply as a fellow one, can you not relate to the human instinct to not want to bring your neighbors problems into your own home?

Now, here’s the other thing. One of the four greatest value lessons I’ve learned so far in my life is the uselessness of “being right.” In business negotiations, in marriage, in politics and in life in general, a juice box and being right are both worth less than a dollar. So with that in mind, let’s start with the now nationally infamous East Ramapo school board battle (in which Orthodox Jews ran for and attained a majority on the school board after having its busing and students with special needs requests ignored and marginalized for too long). If you comb through it slowly, carefully and fairly, as I have, you will probably conclude that “the Orthodox” are “right.” Yay. Here’s your juice box. Now go home. One of the most involved players of the Mahwah school board said, “Actually, I also think the Orthodox are right on this one. Great. Keep it in Ramapo. We’re not looking to be right, and we’re not looking to be wrong. We’re looking to not be next in the Wall Street Journal and New York Times.”

If there was but one life lesson I wish I could impart into the consciousness of my yarmulke-wearing Monsey friends involved within this conflict, it would be to ask yourself but two questions, knowing that the answer to the first question is pennies to dollars in relative value to the answer to the second. (1) Are we right or wrong on this issue? And if right, (2) What is the cost, and long-term consequence, of “being right”? And is it worth the trade-off? The chillul Hashem, and thereby fodder for the malice of men, that you spawned, is now here to haunt you. The ghosts of our past are taking form. Look down. See your hand? Here’s your juice box.

Then comes the rezoning of the zoning codes. Now here’s where it gets truly ugly. So ugly I won’t share details. I’m not looking to add to the crucifixion with my own pen And truth to power, here it gets complicated too. One house per acre(ish) is simply not a reality for an exploding population. It’s hard to stand up (and be) straight, when you can’t fit into a preset space. Legit., good point. Don’t bring it here.

There’s three more hot topics in this hot mess. (1) The leverage of people in power with the “big three” that influence the decision-making process of most men. Two of the big three are power and money. All three have been used here. (2) Demographic, hence social environment, changes. And (3) Unavoidable collateral damage of structural and topography changes, but I’m out of allotted space here too, so let’s just put our hand back in our pocket, and ask ourselves, (a) Are “they” different from me in simply wanting to protect themselves from their neighbors’ mess? (b) Is this a wake-up call to each of us to look down at my hand, see those other three fingers, and start taking achreyut? And (c) Is it still my greatest value to be “right”? If so, here’s your juice box. Go home. You won’t be welcome anywhere else.

Drop the hackneyed safety cloak of victimhood and start taking achreyus. Then maybe things will change. The Mahwah message to Monsey, then, is “Get your act together, and you’ll be welcome everywhere—eruv and all.”

By Dan Schwab

 Dan Schwab lives in Ramapo and does behind-the-scenes investigation on all things political.