It’s incredible to reflect on the past 9 years of Yesh Tikva’s Infertility Awareness Shabbat; how synagogues around the world have been taking this one week a year to create space for those of us who struggle to grow our families. It is inspiring to witness how this conversation that was once so taboo and too difficult to speak about, being addressed from the pulpit.

On a personal level, I struggled for many years to have my miracle children. I felt the depth of pain and desperation of wanting something so badly and not being able to achieve it. And, at the same time, the loneliness and isolation that comes along with it. And it made me think of something in this week’s parsha.

Towards the end of this week’s parsha, we learn about the abstract notion of tzaraat. And the extent to which a metzora is punished and exiled from the community. The pasuk states:

כָּל־יְמֵ֞י אֲשֶׁ֨ר הַנֶּ֥גַע בּ֛וֹ יִטְמָ֖א טָמֵ֣א ה֑וּא בָּדָ֣ד יֵשֵׁ֔ב מִח֥וּץ לַמַּֽחֲנֶ֖ה מֽוֹשָׁבֽוֹ

“All the days the lesion is upon him, he shall remain unclean. He is unclean; he shall dwell isolated; his dwelling shall be outside the camp,” (Vayikra 13:46).

מִח֥וּץ לַמַּֽחֲנֶ֖ה—“outside the camp:” Tzaraat is a punishment of isolation for a person who was connecting with others via gossip. Human nature is to thrive off of our connection with others. We are social beings who need relationships to sustain us. But those relationships are only healthy when we respect each other. And when we don’t, when we create division, we can no longer be part of the camp.

It is through the punishment of isolation that we are meant to be reminded how impactful our words are. It pushes the metzora to feel empathy—to feel the pain that they caused.

But there’s also a type of isolation that isn’t born out of divisiveness, that isn’t a punishment. And that’s the isolation of infertility. For many, it can feel as though they are “outside the camp.” We are blessed to be a part of a Jewish community that heavily revolves around family life. But what happens to those who struggle to grow their families. How do we ensure that they do not feel as though they are plagued and excluded from the community?

Here are a few suggestions to start us off:

1. The damaging effects of gossip, which can leave individuals feeling judged and isolated. If you suspect a friend is struggling with infertility, extend the courtesy of reaching out directly. A simple text expressing that you’re thinking of them can offer support, while respecting their privacy.
2. Feeling excluded from social circles is profoundly isolating. We can actively counteract this by practicing inclusivity, such as inviting friends who are going through tough times to Shabbat meals, birthday parties and other gatherings.
3. Everyone wants to feel included in conversation. While discussing family is natural, be mindful that not everyone can contribute. Choose topics that embrace everyone’s experiences, fostering a sense of belonging.

None of this is easy. But this Pesach—the holiday often centered around family—we have the opportunity to ensure that no one is left feeling “outside the camp.” Let us invite those in who may not yet have that family, who might otherwise feel isolated and alone. We have the chance to say to them—in what’s become a catch-phrase at Yesh Tikva—“You are not alone!”

Gila Muskin Block is the executive director and co-founder of Yesh Tikva. Three years into her personal fertility journey, she founded Yesh Tikva with the help of four incredible and dedicated women. She received her BA in psychology from Yeshiva University Stern College for Women and an MA in Applied Behavioral Analysis from Columbia University. Prior to assuming the position of executive director of Yesh Tikva, she worked for eight years as a behavior therapist and parent educator working with children on the Autism Spectrum.