Hillside—Rabbi Mordechai and Mrs. Shterney Kanelsky are beloved leaders of the Bris Avrohom Center, as well as pillars of the Jewish community. They live their lives striving to do mitzvot (good deeds), help others, and spread their love of Judaism. On Sunday, March 1 at 10:30 a.m. the shul will host an event to commemorate the twelfth yahrzeit and Bat Mitzvah year of the couple’s beloved daughter, Bat Sheva. Sarah Karmely, an inspirational speaker, will give a talk on “Reigniting the Spark Within.” Women will be able to visit the state-of-the-art mikvah, and enjoy a lavish luncheon buffet. Mrs. Kanelsky will sing a song she wrote in their daughter’s memory and tell the story of Bat Sheva’s too-short life.
Twelve years ago, Mrs. Kanelsky gave birth to a daughter, who was born with such serious health issues that is was believed she would not live longer than two to four days. The couple was advised not to connect to their child, but that was impossible. She was their daughter and they would not give up on her.
Rabbi Kanelsky began an email campaign, asking friends and acquaintances to perform mitzvot in his daughter’s merit. In Bat Sheva’s honor, 500 women lit Shabbos candles, 100 men began putting on tefillin, over 700 people added 10 minutes to their daily learning, and children began learning Tanya baal peh and washing “negel vasser” in the mornings.
Two weeks passed and the doctor said to Rabbi Kanelsky, “You are the winner and I am the loser,” and from that day forward began putting on tefillin daily. After another two weeks, Bat Sheva had gained five pounds. A new Sefer Torah was to be written in her honor, and the doctor arranged for it to be written at her bedside in the ICU.
Several days later, Rabbi Kanelsky spoke with a Jewish hospital worker, whom he implored to start lighting Shabbos candles in his daughter’s merit. From that day forward, this nonreligious woman has been lighting candles on Friday night. He firmly believes that “words coming out of the heart go into the heart” and that is why so many people responded to his pleas.
On the 65th day, Bat Sheva finally succumbed to her illness. Despite two feet of snow the ground, over 1000 people came to pay their condolences to the rabbi and rebbetzin. During the shiva, on Saturday night, Rabbi Kanelsky was reminded that he was to have performed a bris milah on a 12-year-old boy the next day. He immediately asked another local mohel to perform the ceremony. The next morning, the boy’s father walked into the house, saying he himself had never had a bris. With tears streaming down his face, Rabbi Kanelsky asked the father to have a bris in memory of his daughter, which he did that same day. Later, the man’s wife approached the rebbetzin, asking how she could learn more about Judaism. This woman today wears a sheitel and their son is in Moscow spreading his love of Judaism.
The Kanelskys could certainly be a broken, beaten family. Such a tragedy has felled many parents and destroyed their lives and futures. But they took the tragedy they suffered and transformed it. They touch many lives, warm many hearts, and uplift thousands with their words and deeds. In Bat Sheva’s merit, they have spread “yiddishkeit” to more people than they could ever have imagined.
Rabbi Kanelsky believes, “You must change your grief into a positive. You cannot let it destroy you. You cannot give up. You must feel you are doing something for your [loved one]. Build things—buildings, lives, connections. Help people. It is how you will be able to go on with your life.”
By Jill Kirsch
