Purim marks the first yahrzeit of my mother, Hadassah Zitter, known to many thousands of children as Morah Hadassah. The seforim write that the day a person passes away has much significance. So the fact that Hadassah, another name for Queen Esther, was nifteres on Purim — the greatest day of singing and festivities on the Jewish calendar — is certainly meaningful. For decades she taught music— songs about Shabbos, Yom Tov and other mitzvos — in many different schools, some frum, and some not yet frum. And it is surely not a coincidence that she was buried on Har Hazeisim, overlooking the makom hamikdash, where the Leviim would sing to Hashem, and a few feet away from Rav Yom Tov Ehrlich, who uplifted so many with his koach hanegina (power of music).
But for Morah Hadassah teaching music was not just a job; it was an opportunity to share some of her excitement for Torah and mitzvos, to instill in children of all ages and stages a joy and enthusiasm for Yiddishkeit. She didn’t just teach Jewish songs; her overflowing excitement for connecting to Hashem and His Torah left an indelible impression on her students, causing a ripple effect on their families. She put together a booklet of Jewish songs which the students would take home for their families to use. So many people related how they, their children or their grandchildren’s lives were transformed, their souls uplifted, having been infused with a feeling for Shabbos and other mitzvos, which was implanted by Morah Hadassah.
Kibud Av Va’Eim
There is another connection my mother has with Purim. Megillas Esther makes a point of telling us that Esther grew up without a mother or father. Why is that important? The Yaaros Devash writes that this was an integral ingredient in Esther’s power to overcome Haman, a descendant of Eisav, who excelled in the great mitzvah of kibud av va’eim, and only someone who similarly shined in performance of this mitzvah has a chance to fight against Eisav. But as the Gemara tells us, no one can claim to fulfill this mitzvah to perfection. Thus, it was Esther, who had no parents, but had a strong desire to keep the mitzvah — which Hashem considers as if it was performed properly — who was able to stand up against Eisav’s descendants.
On a similar note, Rav Shteinman pointed out that, in recent years, Hashem has blessed humanity with longevity. This has given children an opportunity for many more years of fulfilling the great mitzvah of kibud av va’eim, which will help us be redeemed from the exile of Edom, which comes from Eisav. I heard a remez (hint) to this idea. The siman in Shulchan Aruch which discusses the mitzvah of kibud av va’eim is reish mem (=240), which is the same numerical value of Amalek, because in the merit of this great mitzvah we will be able to overcome Amalek.
My mother’s life revolved around her parents and kibud av va’eim. We saw how she did whatever she could to help them and even built a room in her house for my grandmother to live in, after my grandfather was niftar. And when my grandmother was in a nursing home a few miles from her home, she would walk back and forth each Shabbos — a trek of a few miles — rain or shine, to be there for her. This was something which left an indelible impact on all of us, and when she needed a kidney, I had no doubt that I wanted to follow in her footsteps and give her back one of the kidneys she gave me.
Semeichim B’Yissurin — Always B’Simcha
But what makes all of this so much more amazing is that she herself was not well for most of her life. She was always with a smile on her face,so many people were shocked to hear that she had been sick on and off since she was a teenager. Although she was diagnosed with numerous terminal illnesses — kidney failure at the age of 16, and yener machalah a few times, just to mention a few — she was upbeat, living a life of song to Hashem. As the Chovos Halevavos writes, no matter what one is going through, a person’s face should radiate joy. When asked how she was feeling, she would say “Baruch Hashem yom yom,” and adeptly change the topic, expressing thanks to Hashem for all that she was blessed with, never wanting to focus on her illnesses or discomfort.
But she didn’t just ignore her trials and tribulations; she would find ways to bring smiles to others. Many people — not only friends, neighbors or relatives, but even people she met for the first time — recalled how she somehow found a way to compliment and uplift them, and with her positive energy, they walked away feeling energized and wanting to be better people.
In fact, many years ago, she came up with a fascinating idea. At many simchas, she noticed that the baalei simcha felt bad that they had to wait weeks or even months until their pictures were ready. Most people hear that and move on, but she decided to make a difference. She decided that she would take pictures at chasunos of friends or relatives and have an album ready in time for Shabbos Sheva Brochos, elevating the joy of the chosson and kallah to a whole new level.
Her life of overflowing simchas hachaim is certainly a lesson for all. No matter what situation we find ourselves in, we can always seek ways of helping others, bring smiles to anyone we come in contact with, and make this world a happier place.
