Here are tips for parents who need help letting go.
In many Jewish communities, sending kids to sleepaway camp is more than just a tradition — it’s a rite of passage. While many parents are just as eager as their children for dropoff day, many others are left counting down the days with a knot in their stomach.
If you’re feeling stressed, anxious or even a little weepy about sending your child or teen to camp, you’re not alone. Whether it’s their first summer away or their fifth, the transition can bring up big feelings. Here are some tips for managing the very real stress that can come with letting your kids “go” for the summer:
- Name It to Tame It: It’s normal to feel anxious when your child is out of your care for weeks at a time. Whether you’re worried about their safety, their social experience or how you’ll manage at home without them, acknowledging those feelings (instead of pushing them away) is the first step to coping with them. Try saying to yourself: “I’m feeling anxious because I love my child, and letting go is hard. That doesn’t mean something bad will happen — it just means I care.”
- Don’t Compare (Seriously, Don’t!): Maybe your neighbor already started packing for camp back in March with zero visible nerves, or your friend swears her daughter never once got homesick. That’s their reality. Just because someone else makes it look easy doesn’t mean it should feel easy for you. Every parent-child relationship is different, and your emotions are valid even if they look different from others in your circle.
- Prep Your Child (It’ll Help You, Too): One of the best ways to ease your own anxiety is to prepare your child ahead of time. When you’ve taken the time to talk through situations they may encounter and helped them practice how to handle things, it gives you peace of mind too.
Go over things like:
What’s okay and what’s not. Talk about body boundaries, personal space and what to do if someone makes them feel uncomfortable. Make sure they know they can talk to a trusted adult at camp.
How to advocate for themselves. Practice simple phrases they can use if they need help, don’t like something or want to say no. (“Can I talk to my counselor?” or “I’d rather not do that.”)
Camp basics. Show them how to keep track of their stuff, what to do if they lose something and how to write a letter home.
Empowering your child with tools and language makes them feel more confident and helps you breathe a little easier knowing you’ve equipped them with what they need.
- Focus on the Growth … Even If It’s Hard: One of the most powerful things about sleepaway camp is the way it allows kids to grow. They develop independence, resilience and confidence. Yes, that growth often comes with some bumps (maybe a tough bunkmate, homesickness or even just learning to do laundry for the first time), but those challenges are often what lead to the most meaningful growth. Remind yourself: Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s bad.
- Find Comfort in Your Routine: While your child adjusts to new routines at camp, it can help for you to stick to your own. Make plans with friends, cook your favorite dinner, go for that Shabbat walk you usually don’t have time for. When you take care of yourself, you’re also modeling healthy coping for your child, even from afar.
- Write Letters (Mindfully): Camp letters are a time-honored tradition, but be mindful of the tone. While it’s okay to say you miss them, avoid heavy language like “The house is so empty without you” or “I cry every time I walk past your room.” Keep letters upbeat and encouraging, and save the deeper emotions for your spouse, a friend or your own therapist.
- Create a “Camp Parent” Support Squad: You’re probably not the only one feeling this way. Whether it’s a WhatsApp chat with other parents from your child’s camp or just a check-in with friends whose kids are also away, it helps to connect with others who get it. Share tips, swap stories or even just laugh together about how weirdly quiet your house is now.
- Trust What You’ve Built: At the end of the day, you’ve spent years instilling values, confidence and strength in your child. Camp gives them a place to practice all of that. When you feel anxious, remind yourself: I’ve prepared them for this.
Letting go, even just for a few weeks, is not easy. But it’s also a powerful gift. As your child heads off with their duffel bags, remind yourself that this experience can be transformative for both of you.
And when the letters come home saying “I need more socks” or “Everyone else is allowed to have Snapchat,” take it as a sign that your child is learning, growing and becoming their own person — exactly what you’ve raised them to do.
Nicole Ivelevitch is a therapist and practice manager at Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy LLC. Nicole specializes in working with preteens through adults with eating disorders, depression, ADHD, and anxiety and is also the first person anyone who calls or emails the practice interacts with. Nicole also co-leads the pre-teen and middle school groups in the practice. To schedule an appointment with Nicole or any of the therapists at the practice, visit
www.collaborativeminds.net/bookcall.
