Part 34 (written 2004)
(Continued from previous week)
The Family B.
Since there was no possibility for Be. to be admitted to a local school in New Jersey, which I would have preferred, an application was made for admission into the Yeshiva University High School for Boys in New York. In the meantime, Ba. was admitted to Yeshiva University and S. graduated from Uppsala University (Sweden) with a degree equivalent to a BA and also was granted a scholarship for studies in the US from a Swedish foundation. In August 1994, Be. was admitted into YU High School for Boys as a member of the class of 1998.
In late August 1994, the family arrived in the US, and Be. immediately started school. Although he had a shaky start for the first few months due to his lack of sufficient Hebrew education in Sweden, he settled down eventually, and did very well in most subjects. He was able to obtain a small scholarship from YU, and I paid for the balance of tuition, dorm and other school related expenses.
Chana Scharfstein, I understand, told and retold this story many times to her travel companions and had it published in the Chabad newspaper. It came to the attention of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, who, during a talk with Chana gave her “and everyone else associated with the project” his blessing. I hope that the end of this story will never come to his attention. A blessing, however undeserved, can never do any harm.
Everything seemed to be going well for several years, but in 1996 the first signs appeared that Be. had gotten under the influence of a group of students who were anti-everything religious. I tried to get through to Be. but without success. He continued to be courteous and friendly, went with me to a seminar at Aish Hatorah in New York, but seemed to be detached from everything Jewish. I also arranged for Be. to visit with Dr. Yitzchak Block of the Friends of Lubavitch in London, Ontario. Dr. Block, a professor of philosophy, was recommended to me as having vast experience in dealing with the problems Be. was facing. He also had no success. I tried to convince Be. to continue his schooling in Israel, in order to remove him from the bad influence, and although he initially showed interest, I think it was only to please me.
In August 1998, I received a letter from Be. expressing regret for not going to Israel and stating that he must follow his own heart and pursue the fields of study “that matter so much to me.” He thanked me for everything I had done for him and for his family and hoped that I would not be angry with him, but that we would remain friends “whether I ever return to the Jewish path or not.”
I subsequently learned from S. that he had enrolled at Queens College (where his brother had also gone after leaving YU) and that his brother had also strongly influenced him away from Judaism. Since Queens College, for obvious reasons, was not acceptable for Be. under the existing circumstances, I discontinued all financial support once Be. graduated from YU High School.
- S. received her green card, obtained a good job, and has been able to support her family. Be. has left the Jewish faith completely and said that he does not believe in God anymore. He studied philosophy and journalism at Queens College.
Although I have talked to S. several times, I have no regular contact with the family anymore. I did receive a beautiful letter from S. in September 2000, thanking me for what I had done for her family. She subsequently married a Lubavitcher and seems to be happy except where it concerns her sons.
Obviously, the disappointment was great.
A young and enthusiastic boy with so much potential had thrown everything away and had gone in the opposite direction. Do I have regrets for what I did? Absolutely not, and I told that to S. Would I have done it, had I known the outcome? Yes, certainly. In Sweden there was no opportunity to be an Orthodox Jew; in fact, the Orthodox community was shrinking there. At least Be. had the chance to learn for a few years the meaning of being an observant Jew. Falling by the wayside does not negate that.
The Almighty has given the human being the ability to make choices, for good or for bad. But in order to make a choice he must have the knowledge. In Sweden, Be. had no means by which to make a choice; he lacked the exposure to Orthodox Jewish life. With his schooling here he acquired that knowledge, but he made the wrong choice.
May God grant my wish that Be. mature with time, reconsider his choice, and rejoin the ranks of observant Jews. I stand ready to receive him with open arms.
(To be continued next week)
By Norbert Strauss
Norbert Strauss is a Teaneck resident and Englewood Hospital volunteer. He frequently speaks to groups to relay his family’s escape from Nazi Germany in 1941.
