With October designated as “Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month,” NechamaComfort, in partnership with Holy Name Medical Center in Teaneck, is holding “A Day of Remembrance Awareness Memorial Event and Walk” on Oct. 15 from 1-3 p.m. The fact that the event is being held on Oct. 15 is no coincidence as it was officially designated as “Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day” by President Ronald Reagan back in 1988.
There will be a walk around the hospital and in the evening, and also in the evening, people all over the world will be asked to light a candle at 7 p.m. for the International Wave of Light in memory of their babies who passed away.
People who have experienced any sort of pregnancy or infant loss at any time in their life, whether from miscarriages, stillbirths or SIDS, are invited to join and the event will feature various speakers who will be sharing their stories. “We encourage families to come and there will be activities for children there as well, along with plenty of kosher food,” said Reva Judas, founder and director of NechamaComfort. “It’s a day dedicated to families whose children only live in their hopes and dreams.”
On Oct. 17, NechamaComfort, together with other organizations, will host a webinar on reproductive grief and later in the month, a former client will host a webinar on therapeutic meditation.
Down in Florida, NechamaComfort will host an event sponsored by the Borin family where fashion influencer Lizzie Savetsky will speak. Along with her husband Ira, they serve as ambassadors of hope and awareness for NechamaComfort. The event will also feature a live performance by Gad Elbaz, who will sing an original song written especially for NechamaComfort.
NechamaComfort has become a rapidly growing global organization and runs programming out of Europe, Asia, Africa and South America, providing individual counseling and support groups. This past summer, Reva spent a month in Israel connecting with other Israeli organizations in an effort to create partnerships and cooperatives to help translate all of its programming into Hebrew. “Our hope is to translate our program into Hebrew in order to meet the needs of the Hebrew speaking community. At present we have a wonderful team of trained case managers working with clients around the world in English,” said Reva. NechamaComfort also hopes to expand its 24-hour hotline to include Hebrew, so Hebrew-speaking callers can call in and speak to Hebrew-speaking responders.
In addition to counseling and support groups, NechamaComfort runs bi-monthly pregnancy after-loss groups and male support groups run by male trained trauma therapists. NechamaComfort offers training to medical personnel and clergy and works with the entire Jewish community, regardless of denomination.
NechamaComfort has also been able to increase its assistance with burials. Locally, the organization works with Marty Kashdan of Gutterman and Musicant. “Gutterman and Musicant do not charge anyone for their services and everything is free of charge for the burials, while Cedar Park Beth El Cemetery has donated plots,” explained Reva.
Unfortunately, NechamaComfort has seen an increase in these types of burials but Reva attributes the increase to more people than ever know about NechamaComfort and there is not as much of a stigma surrounding pregnancy and infant loss as there had been in the past. Reva said that people are now reaching out even when they experience miscarriages that occur before 20 weeks. “We work with the couple in their grief journey individually and then together, in a support group, we help give them the guidance and the tools where they develop a peer-to-peer support group … we have been seeing much more how our clients have created a bond among themselves.”
She added, “We help with memorials and we are there for them throughout their life … It’s a lifelong process … but the goal is for them to put their children into their lives and their loss and move through it because you can’t move past it.
“This past year we had a group of five couples who met through NechamaComfort who all had stillbirths within four months of each other. Then, miraculously, they all gave birth to healthy babies over the last six months. So we have been involved in actually doing a baby naming for one of the couples next week … They are giving back their support through their own journey.”
Reva continued, “Everybody wished me this Rosh Hashanah that I should go out of business this year and I answered ‘Amen.’ Unfortunately, I am not going out of business because more and more people than ever are reaching out… People are coming to us now once they hear about us.”
In fact, while she was in Israel over the summer, two women from South America approached her to talk about the stillbirths they experienced 45 years ago. “It is something that will always be with you and it will never be too late to reach out to us.”
NechamaComfort was started 36 years ago when Reva and her husband had their first son Pesach, who passed away shortly after he was born. At the time there was no help, secular or Jewish, and nobody seemed to know what to do or how to help the couple cope with the devastating grief over the loss of their child.
Throughout the year, the organization continues to do educational programs and events in different communities to talk about training, awareness, memorials and of course, fundraising. As all of NechamaComfort’s services for clients are free, the organization relies on charitable contributions to help maintain these services. The organization is always grateful for support to help the families when help is needed most.
To attend this special event, RSVP at [email protected]. People can donate and discuss memorials by going to their website at www.nechamacomfort.org or email [email protected]. Find them on Facebook at NechamaComfort and on Instagram @nechamacomfort.
