We had the privilege of attending the Yachad Gala this past week. There are so many accolades that could be given to Yachad and we at The Link are especially sensitive to the amazing services provided by Yachad and the devotion of its staff.
There is another facet of Yachad’s events that is not publicized enough. In order to enjoy the repast and prepare for the program we decided to seat ourselves at an empty table since we did not really know many of the attendees. Within a few minutes another couple joined us. We had never met before. Within five minutes we realized that we could in many ways tell each other’s story. Our new friends, the Lunzers from Englewood, are parents of a grown son now living in a group home. They had benefited from the wonders of Yachad for many years. At that point, from the look in their eyes and our understanding of who they were, the pain and hurt from which we had both suffered and the beauty and love that our special children radiated to our entire families enabled us to click immediately. We did not have to explain anything about our family lives. We knew the challenge of dealing with doctors who suggested not bringing special children home after their birth. We knew the challenges of looks and stares and the necessity of integrating our children fully into our families’ day-to-day lives. We knew the hardships of juggling “normal” siblings and giving them the attention they so deserved without neglecting their sibling.
All in all as we look back it was a great accomplishment. We did it. We survived. As we look at our other children we see nothing but kindness and caring when it comes to their attitudes towards their sibling and the many members of the special needs community of which we are aware.
No one is able to relate to a parent of a special child as well as another who is experiencing the same heartache. This is where the beauty of Yachad comes in. Yet, quite honestly, not all families fit well with each other. The hope is that we are able to benefit from the thoughts and ideas of one another. As an example we have had the opportunity to meet with people who were absolutely sure that one day their special child would “outgrow” their disability. We have spoken with those who believed that their child’s disability was a sign of his great brilliance. We have met with couples who seriously considered breaking up their marriage because one of the partners was not on the same wavelength of acceptance as the other. Again, spending more and more time with others who were facing similar challenges, our minds became more receptive to what we should be doing and how to go about doing it. Story after story can be told of family friendships made through the involvement of their children in special needs organizations.
If you have never experienced this challenge in your family, you simply cannot say “I know” to a person who lives with the daily upheaval of keeping a family running “normally” while managing the many hurdles they face each day.
Thank you Yachad for allowing parents of children with disabilities to realize that they are not alone. There are times when the road does seem desolate and hopeless, we know it well, but then suddenly the fog lifts and the sun shines once again. We urge all those traveling down that same road to always remember that.
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
