As we enter a season of introspection in the Jewish calendar, a time when we reflect on our actions, relationships and inner selves, it’s important to consider one relationship that is often neglected: the relationship with our own bodies. In doing a personal cheshbon hanefesh, we aim to better ourselves and realign our priorities. Yet, amid this spiritual reckoning, healing the relationship with our bodies — and by extension, with food — may be the most significant step toward greater peace and self-compassion.
Judaism teaches that our bodies are keilim for the soul, entrusted to us by God. However, in our modern world, these sacred vessels are often scrutinized and measured against societal ideals. Many people struggle with feelings of shame or guilt about how they look or eat, which can warp their relationship with food into one of punishment or reward, rather than nourishment and care.
Healing this relationship begins by seeing our bodies not as projects to be perfected, but as partners in life’s journey. This perspective shift allows us to approach food and our physical selves with greater compassion, understanding that how we nourish ourselves is an integral part of caring for our souls.
One powerful way to start mending the body-food relationship is by engaging in a reflective exercise: writing a letter to, or from, your body. This practice, rooted in self-compassion and awareness, allows you to externalize the emotions you carry around your body and food. It also creates a space for forgiveness and healing.
Writing a letter to your body can help you express gratitude for what your body does for you, even through times when you might have been critical or neglectful. Apologize for any harsh judgments or mistreatment and express your commitment to listen to your body’s needs moving forward.
Alternatively, writing a letter from your body allows you to imagine your body could speak directly to you. What would it say? This exercise can help you understand what your body might need, how it has supported you and how it may feel about the way it has been treated. It can be a cathartic way to hear the messages your body has been trying to communicate, whether about rest, nourishment or respect.
Both exercises help reframe the body not as an adversary, but as a partner that works tirelessly for you every day. This mindful conversation between body and self can illuminate areas where you can offer more compassion and care.
Just as we ask for forgiveness from God and others, we must learn to forgive ourselves for past behaviors that may have harmed our bodies or caused unhealthy eating patterns. This process is not about self-blame but about releasing the weight of guilt and shame that can perpetuate negative cycles. Forgiveness allows us to approach our bodies with kindness and begin anew, creating habits that honor our physical and emotional well-being.
Healing your relationship with food and body is not a quick fix but a lifelong journey. During this period of introspection, let it be a starting point for greater self-awareness and compassion. Our bodies carry us through life’s highs and lows, and by treating them with care we honor the divine gifts that they are. Healing this relationship with ourselves may be one of the most transformative steps we can take.
May we all find peace in our bodies, joy in nourishing them and a deeper connection to ourselves in the coming year.
Brian Pollack, LCSW, CEDS-S, is an adjunct professor at Yeshiva University, Certified Eating Disorder Specialist and owner of Hilltop Behavioral Health. His work encompasses advocacy, national keynote presentations and continued education surrounding the treatment and prevention of eating disorders.
