Studies show that positive thinkers not only accomplish more than their negativist counterparts, they also live happier, longer lives. No kiddin’.

Who wouldn’t want to live longer if optimism is the driving force? And there’s growing evidence that we have something to say – beyond the physical factors (diet, exercise, environment) – about the nature and length of our lives.

Build Positivity

The optimist feels we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist is afraid that’s true. This brand of optimism differs from the wild-eyed type in that it is confident, creative and appreciative. The pessimist has nowhere to go.

Abraham Maslow, who did much to change the way we think about human motivation, used to say, “If I were dropped into the Pacific Ocean a thousand miles from land, I’d start swimming anyway.” Here’s how optimists get that way.

Make a Distinction

Don’t conflate optimism with realism. There are those who believe that if you’re an optimist, you can’t possibly be a realist, that you’re fooling yourself. Do you know who thinks that? Pessimists, that’s who. But if you look at things the way General Dwight David Eisenhower did, you’ll agree with him. Said he, “Pessimism never won any battle.” Planning D-Day, the largest single event in history, he had to be a realist – with ice in his veins – but he also may have been the most optimistic thinker ever.

Make Your Choice

With the same two hands, you can either build your own tower or dig your own grave. The amount of work is the same, but the choice is yours. Waking up each morning or going to work each day requires you to make that decision.

Marginalize the Negativists

It would be nice to eliminate the negative forces from your life altogether, but that’s just not possible.

So you must settle for eliminating what you can and marginalizing the rest. Not just for now. For good.

Aim for Small Successes at First

Nothing motivates you like success, but if you start out trying to save the world by yourself, success is out of the question – not to mention frustrating and defeatist. On the other hand, small successes are not only steps forward, they also teach us how to move onto bigger ones and they become habits. Now we can try to save the world.

How’s Your Sense of Humor?

The characteristic that has moved humanity forward more than any other, and the one that’s exclusive to us humans, is humor. The key, though, is that non-hostile humor is what it does. Humor at anyone’s expense is destructive. Supportive humor is not just important, it’s lifeblood.

Probabilities or Possibilities?

The pessimist, for the most part, deals in probabilities and spends inordinate time maximizing the odds. Plainly, this is limiting. Conversely, the optimist dealing in possibilities has no limits other than his own realism and imagination. Pessimists ask “Why?” Optimists ask “Why not?” Pessimists ask “What for?” Optimists ask “What if?”

Certainly, you’ve figured out I’m an optimist. You’re not the first. Sixty years ago, when I was a freshman, one of my fraternity upperclassmen said about me: “Eli’s the kid who comes downstairs Christmas morning, sees his Christmas stocking filled with horse manure, and asks, ‘Where’s the pony?’”

Affirmation-Confirmation: An Optimist’s Habit

Card-carrying optimist that I am, there’s one thing I do every day without fail. When I get out of bed, I make an affirmation that “today I will do …” and I select at least one thing and no more than three things that are of great importance, more than the umpteen other things on my typical to-do list. At the end of my day, I make my confirmation that “today I accomplished …” and those key items need to be there. That feeling, no matter how small the items may have been, is exhilarating. And habit forming. And BTW, more than three is permissible, but that’s what realism and optimism look like together.

Eli Amdur has been providing individualized career and executive coaching, as well as corporate leadership advice since 1997. For 15 years he taught graduate leadership courses at FDU. He has been a regular writer for this and other publications since 2003. You can reach him at [email protected] or 201-357-5844.