It was the sixth Chanukah light, Rosh Chodesh Teves, and the voices of many warm and celebratory friends rose above the musical background as I entered the room. For those who couldn’t wait for the holiday-themed dessert, trays of varying types of donuts, elegantly presented, were displayed around the room together with other pastries and petit fours. It seemed as if everyone knew each other, the camaraderie evident at all the many tables, and the elegant place settings made each tablescape a delight to the eye.
I had been invited to attend this warm group of women at a hall in the Boro Park section of Brooklyn. Women of varying ages had gathered, having lit their Chanukah menorahs at home, with their children settled with babysitters or older siblings. These women came to find the friendship and support of others who had also lit the menorah for themselves and their children. These are the women who belong to the extended family called Mishpachtainu.
Mishpachtainu was originally one single mom reaching out to another single mom who needed a welcoming Shabbos table when her children were not with her. Enveloped in the warmth of her hostess, a single mom by the name of Yehudis Sherman, and enjoying the delightful Shabbos fare, the guest asked if she could return the following week with two friends who were in a similar situation: single moms whose children were spending time with their fathers or away at yeshivah or seminary. Yehudis saw that there were many women like herself who needed a safe haven in which to find a welcoming, joyful Shabbos atmosphere with others who understood her challenges. In a world where Shabbos brings family members together – fathers, mothers and their children – after a long week to feel the comfort and support of each other’s love and companionship, for single mothers, Shabbos becomes the weekly void—a weekly reminder of being alone, without a spouse or father to make Kiddush and complete the family circle.
Yehudis realizes that despite existing organizations, so many women needed a place to go on Shabbos where this void could be filled by the companionship of other women who knew without words the challenges of raising children alone, to somehow manage emotionally, financially and spiritually. Following her instinct for elegant and gracious hostessing, each week became a beautifully presented Shabbos of delicious food, camaraderie and love.
Seeing the need for sleeping accommodations for women whose homes were too far away for them to walk to join the newly named Mishpachtainu group of women, she elegantly furnished several guest rooms in her home to accommodate women who would not otherwise be able to be there for Shabbos. In a short time, her house could not accommodate the number of women from all over the tri state area –Lakewood, Edison, Highland Park, Passaic, the Syrian community and all over Brooklyn and even Baltimore– who wished to become part of this caring and nurturing organization. Yehudis rented a larger house, in addition to her own, to be assured that no woman who wished to come for Shabbos or Yom Tovim would not have comfortable and gracious accommodations.
One Friday night, one of the women rushed into the kitchen to ask Yehudis to make Kiddush rather quickly and begin the Friday night seudah, as one of the guests was faint. Yehudis learned that that guest had limited resources and often did not eat much until she came to spend Shabbos with Yehudis and Mishpachtainu. Thus, was the Free Food Pantry born! Women can come to stock up with food staples, snacks, chocolate and other household items otherwise beyond their financial capabilities.
Shabbos and then Yamim Tovim became elegant and festive seudos with the companionship of their newly found extended family. Often women shared other challenges with Yehudis, including legal and even halachic issues, and attempting to find resources for dealing with the problems of attaining a proper get from a recalcitrant spouse. Issues such as how to deal with financial crises, including emergency medical crises, finding resources to send children to camp, even making sure that they leave with all the nosh and supplies other children take for granted—so many issues that a couple would face together was the sole responsibility of these ”mighty moms”!
Mishpachtainu has become a support system for many women, but Yehudis cannot do it alone. The need for financial backing from the community has become imperative as the need for resources increases on a daily basis.
With the prayer that the miracle of Chanukah will extend to this amazing group of women, a major campaign was initiated at the Chanukah event. Its goal is to raise critically needed funds to continue and extend the resources for these very special mighty moms!
