One of the ‘hot topics’ now in child and family mental health is discussing how children are impacted by technology. It is something that is on the forefront of everyone’s mind and most probably ‘pops in’ to the discussion at our Shabbos tables. Technology has been introduced to our world and has also been introduced to our classrooms and educational institutions. It has also entered the home environment thereby producing many new challenges for both parents and children. As technology continues to evolve, we are challenged to provide parents with new insights and strategies to build the parent/child connection in this new digital age.
What are some of these challenges? Here are a few examples:
Mr. Thomas works in real estate management. While he is able to leave work at 5:30 to be home at 6:30, his company recently purchased an iPhone so he can answer work calls while he is at home. The company expects Mr. Thomas to work at home and respond to emails in a timely fashion. Therefore, Mr. Thomas is constantly finding himself on his iPhone, especially during moments that he is spending with his children.
John, a 14 year old high school student, spends a lot of time on Facebook. Almost on a daily basis, he will update his profile to ensure that all of his friends have the most updated information about his life. John’s parents notice that John’s grades in school have begun to slip and they are worried that his Facebook obsession may be part of the problem.
Mr. & Mrs. Rosen are worried about their 10-year-old daughter. Because many of their friends purchased phones for their children, they decided to buy a phone for their daughter Julia. However, since they bought her the phone, they notice that she is constantly texting and downloading all kinds of apps and games. When they check on her in the evening, they find her playing on the phone instead of doing her homework. One evening when Mrs. Rosen is downstairs, she receives a text from her daughter requesting dinner be brought to her room. Her parents do not know what to do. They bought the phone so Julia could have what the other kids have!
While each of the above examples has its own set of unique circumstances, there is one common idea that could provide insights to parents facing similar dilemmas. It relates to the underlying belief and understanding of the cultivating factor for ongoing relationships and connections between parents and children. If the cultivating factor is parents and their active involvement in the lives of their children, this will lead to an inner belief that what I say really matters to my child because, ultimately, I am the one that has the most influence on the life of my child. However, if parents believe that they have little or no control due to the widespread use of technology, then parents may feel less confident about how the parent/child connection can be utilized to connect at different points of the developmental timeline.
Mark Staum, LCSW, is the school therapist for the PTACH program @ MTA. In his practice, Mark specializes in child and family mental health. In the past, Mark has developed social skills groups for both elementary and middle school aged children. Mark has developed many different workshops related to the social and emotional development of children and adolescents. To contact Mark, please email him at, [email protected]
By Mark Staum
