There is an old parable about a young man who lived in a corner of the world not often visited by “civilized society.” This man was arrested and, without the benefit of a legitimate trial, found guilty of having committed a crime. To send a message to the town’s residents, the man was sentenced to 20 years in prison.

On the man’s first day in prison, he was shepherded, shackles and all, to the basement of the prison where he was to spend the next 20 years in solitary confinement. It was a small room with a bed, toilet, sink, and half a wheel protruding from the back wall. He was told that for a few hours each day, he was to turn the wheel. And so, day after day, the monotony of his existence was defined by the routine of eating meals, sleeping, and turning the wheel.

When 20 years had finally passed, the man was released from prison and reunited with his family who had pined away for the day when they would see him once again. After much rejoicing, the man told them about the conditions of his imprisonment and they marveled at how he had survived. They couldn’t fathom how he had not been beaten down by the harsh deprivation over the last 20 years and lost the will to live.

With much emotion in his voice and tears in his eyes, the man explained that it had everything to do with the wheel sticking out of the wall in his cell. At first, he admitted, his hope had begun to fade. But then one day, he considered the wheel and wondered what he was accomplishing by turning it each day.

The man imagined that on the other side of the wall, the other half of the wheel was connected to a large machine that pumped water and generated electricity for the prison. By turning the wheel, he thought, he was powering this machine. And so, the man became convinced that his single act of turning the wheel each day was vital to the proper running of the prison, helping everyone including himself and the other inmates. “Knowing” this gave him great purpose and lent meaning to his suffering, enabling him to survive the extreme deprivation.

The story of Pesach is one of redemption in which the Jewish people were liberated from being in Egypt for over 200 years, over 100 years of which were characterized by cruel and barbaric treatment. The slavery was literally and figuratively backbreaking, spiritually devastating, and psychologically torturous. It’s easy to imagine giving up hope and succumbing to despair. So, how did we survive? Perhaps part of the answer lies in a man named Viktor Frankl.

Viktor Frankl (1905–1997) was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust. Afterward, he pioneered a form of psychotherapy called Logotherapy that was greatly influenced by his experiences and observations in the concentration camps.

Frankl wondered why some people survived the camps while others perished without any observable cause. What he came to believe was that those who survived had found a purpose to their suffering that helped propel them forward through the horror and torture they experienced in the camps.

Frankl realized a great truth about the human condition when it comes to unavoidable suffering and pain. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning (1946), he wrote, “…everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances…” (p. 65). In other words, even when we have no choice but to experience suffering, the one choice we always have is to decide what we think about our suffering.

Frankl suggested a person can withstand any challenge, from the smallest to the most terrible, if he can find meaning in it. This is a powerful concept. It helps us understand how the prisoner in the parable survived, how the Jewish people survived in the concentration camps, and perhaps it helps us understand how we survived slavery in Egypt. Even when subjected to horrific treatment, we had a choice to make. Our choice was to decide how we would endure the slavery and this decision made a great difference in whether we would endure it or perish as a result.

Sometimes, it’s easy to find meaning in our pain. Let’s take the rather mundane example of needing physical therapy after injuring an ankle. The pain we experience in physical therapy makes sense to us. It signifies that we’re working toward rehabilitating our body. And so, we can see that it’s a good thing.

But how does one find meaning and purpose in more profound suffering, such as when someone has been abused or if they’re coping with the death of a loved one? Sometimes, it can be a struggle to find meaning.

Frankl once treated an elderly physician who had become severely depressed over the death of his wife two years prior. The physician had loved his wife deeply and Frankl was at a loss as to how to help him recover from his unrelenting grief. “What should I tell him?” Frankl writes in his book. This was their exchange:

Frankl: “What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you?”

Patient: “Oh, for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!”

Frankl: “You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared of her, and it was you who have spared her this suffering; but now, you have to pay for it by surviving and mourning her.”

Frankl concluded in his book, “He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left my office. In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of sacrifice” (p. 178–179).

Frankl’s pioneering work helps us understand how we can experience our own challenges, from minor to great, and emerge with hope and a positive attitude. It’s fairly easy to feel good when things are going well. When we experience terrible adversity, it becomes far more difficult. We may think everything is bleak and hopeless. We might become intensely angry or depressed. However, with effort (sometimes great effort), we can find a purpose to our suffering. When we achieve this, a profound change occurs within us and we find the strength to not only survive, but to thrive. With the memory of our ancestors fresh in our mind, may this Pesach be a reminder of all we can accomplish when we keep a healthy and positive attitude, even in the face of great adversity.

Dr. Gur-Aryeh is a clinical psychologist with a private practice in Saddle Brook, NJ. He works with a wide variety of clients seeking mental health treatment and specializes in mood disorders and addiction in particular. If you would like to contact him, you can do so at [email protected], at 201-406-9710, or through his website at www.shovalguraryehphd.com.

By Shoval Gur-Aryeh, PhD