Simchat Torah can be electrifying and exhilarating. Singing and dancing around in a circle into the wee hours of the night is what makes Simchat Torah truly special. Other than Purim, it is the closest thing the Jewish holidays have to Mardi Gras.

Ideally, the dancing and singing on Simchat Torah should create a glorious whirlwind of joy and happiness that elevate the holiday to new heights. In a perfect world, the revelry and camaraderie should inspire others to join, creating a ripple effect of roaring ruach that can be heard and felt for miles. If conducted correctly, each participant should, at celebration’s end, feel a sense of extreme exhaustion and supreme satisfaction.

There is good authority that energetic dancing and passionate singing on Simchat Torah are wonderful ideas and should be encouraged. The Torah says to “[r]ejoice in your festivals … and you should be exceedingly happy. (Devarim 16:14,15) The Talmud states: “A person is obligated to make his children and the members of his household happy on Yom Tov, as the verse says, and you shall be joyous in your holiday.” (Pesachim 109a) The Rambam notes that the phrase “and you shall rejoice in your festival,” is what was said to rejoice in all forms of joy, and based on this to . . . rejoice with musical instruments and to dance and . . . this is subsumed under “and you shall rejoice in your festivals.” (Rambam Sefer Hamitzvot Aseh 54) And, of course, the 1980’s music sensation The Beastie Boys—a trio of Jewish rappers including Adam Yauch, Michael Diamond and Adam Horovitz—wisely cautioned that “you’ve gotta fight . . . for your right . . . to party.” Thus, dancing and singing on Simchat Torah, when done in appropriate form and fashion, can actually transform a Yom Tov into a Yom Tov Meod.

With all of that said and theoretically speaking, dancing and singing on Simchat Torah, no matter how sincere and well-intentioned, could possibly get out of hand. While in reality the celebration on Simchat Torah is always (or almost always) perfectly menschy and proper, one could possibly envision scenarios—hypothetically speaking—in which the dancing and singing spin out of control just a bit. For example, if you found yourself attempting ill-advised handstands, backflips and head-spins . . . on pavement . . . while blindfolded . . . in the middle of oncoming traffic . . . while wearing a chicken costume, then your partying on Simchat Torah probably went too far. If you tore your ACL while hora dancing at the bottom of a quadruple piggy-back, then you probably overdid it just a smidgeon. If you woke up hoarse, sore, disoriented and in the sukkah of a complete stranger, then you probably went just a hair above and beyond the call of duty. These are just a few examples of when dancing and singing on Simchat Torah—in theory—likely spiraled out of control.

By way of further example, your dancing and singing on Simchat Torah may have been a tad excessive if:

(1) your dancing registered on the Richter Scale;

(2) as a result, you have been asked to perform at half-time of the next Super Bowl;

(3) the U.S. military seeks to harness your energy for nuclear purposes;

(4) your enormous hora circle was visible from the moon;

(5) your cacophonous singing completely drowned out the sound of cross-town jackhammering;

(6) a video of your singing and dancing will help you to successfully prove your insanity defense;

(7) you are the target of an intervention for a t.v. show called “Dancing Fools”;

(8) children keep asking you if you are one of the Wiggles;

(9) your next-door neighbors electrify their fences;

(10) every coffee shop in town refuses to sell you a caffeinated beverage;

(11) your hora circle is named as the sole defendant in a class action lawsuit seeking damages for negligent rejoicing and reckless enthusiasm;

(12) the rabbi’s next shabbos sermon is titled “Excessive Ruach: Too Much of a Good Thing” or “How to Party on Simchat Torah Without Becoming a Public Nuisance”;

(13) an amusement park names a roller coaster after you;

(14) those watching the celebration are treated for PTSD; and

(15) the next year, you are strongly encouraged to spend the holidays abroad.

Final thought: If your dancing on Simchat Torah injures a group of litigious opera singers and as a result of the incident they can no longer sing soprano, what relief will they seek? The answer is . . . treble damages.

By Jon Kranz