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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Prepping for a First Date

Editors’ note: The Jewish Link welcomes our newest dating columnist and invites readers to send questions to [email protected]

Dear David,

I am a 25-year-old male and recently entered the dating world. Since I am new to it, I am not sure of everything I need to do in order to make a good impression. Please let me know your thoughts.

Dear Reader,

Thank you for reaching out. Starting to date is going to be an adventure. First thing I always tell my clients is that the goal is to show your best self and put your best foot forward. It first starts with making sure your clothes are in proper order. You want to make sure they are clean, with no holes and try your best to make sure your shirt is not wrinkled. I am not suggesting you shine your shoes, but don’t wear the ones with the most scuff marks. I would also check the weather. You want to wear a raincoat and take an umbrella if there are showers expected so you don’t get caught in the rain. If it is cold, you don’t want to be outside freezing and if it is hot you want to wear something heat appropriate. Next, make sure your car is clean. It is important to make sure there is no garbage or empty cups and/or bottles sitting around. If you do not have a car and are using public transportation, make sure to add extra money to your metro account/card since you will have to pay for your date’s ride. I would also suggest having a slim wallet and only taking the essentials on a date such as cash, ID, debit card and/or credit card. Most of all, never leave to go on a date without your positive attitude and smile. This is an adventure of your life which is the starting of the next stage. Not every date is going to go perfectly, but every date is an opportunity to learn about yourself and to learn about what you are looking for in a relationship. Think of it as a stepping stone in the next phase of your life.

Call me old fashioned, but I still open the door for my wife whenever I have a chance. Some young ladies may feel they can open it themselves, and that’s okay, but until they say otherwise, make sure to take the opportunity whenever available. That does not mean to jump over her or slide across the hood of a car to get to the door before she does. Yes, the rules of being a gentleman can still be appreciated even in this day and age, so give her the chance to order first when you are going for drinks or dinner. Dinners can be expensive, but you don’t have to go to the most expensive place. It’s the person you are spending time with that matters the most. If you are going out during the week after work or school, chances are you are both hungry. If your stomach is the one doing the talking, then you are not going to be listening to what your date has to say.

Always remember, if someone does not want or appreciate what you have to offer, then they are not the one for you. As humans, we have faults and we always want to improve, but at our core we know who we are and have a general idea of who we want to be with. Dating gives you the chance to figure that out. In today’s day and age, everything is a swipe and dropdown menu away from what we need and want. But dating cannot be handled in the same manner as Amazon. Does that mean you have to go out with every name and suggestion you come across? Nope! But you may be short changing yourself if you swipe too fast. Take a second look. Attraction is important, but some people can still surprise you and are definitely worth a chance. The goal of marriage should be to be together forever and dating gives you that time to try and figure out the forever part while still learning about being the best version of yourself.

Do write back and let me know how your date went.


David Ochs is a business administrator and dating consultant in Bergen County. He can be reached at [email protected] and welcomes submissions of dating questions to be answered in future articles.

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