In this week’s Torah portion, we read of the first recorded shidduch in Jewish history, and the basic storyline goes like this: Avraham decides it’s time for his son, Yitzchak, to get married. He sends his servant Eliezer on a journey to a different country, laden with expensive presents, to search for that wife. After doing extensive field research, Eliezer finally thinks he’s found her… and then the potential mechutanim try to poison him.
From time immemorial, finding a marriage partner has never been easy.
There is no one in the Jewish world today that hasn’t encountered the desperation, dread and despair of a drawn-out shidduch parsha; whether it is for ourselves, our child, sibling or friend, we are all familiar with how challenging this search can be.
Now imagine what it is like for someone who was born with a syndrome or medical disorder, who has known all her life that she can’t have children. Imagine carrying that heavy knowledge with her as she enters the shidduch stage. Imagine the dread of wondering, “Will anyone ever want to marry me?”
These are the singles that Puah has set out to help.
Four years ago, Puah began a special support group in Israel, for young women who are medically unable to bear children. These women, who had carried their lonely secrets with them throughout their teenage years, desperately needed someone to reach out to them, and Puah eagerly filled that role. At the monthly meetings, well-known lecturers and counselors come speak to the women, who have the opportunity to raise all of their questions and fears. In addition, Puah’s rabbinic advisors provide medical and halachic guidance as to their various treatment options. Together with this, Puah works hard to assist these young women in finding spouses, and provides continuous guidance to the couple after their marriage as well, to help them achieve their dream of parenthood.
Not long ago, Rivky, a 24-year-old member of the support group, was suggested a shidduch with Shmuel, who was also born with a medical disorder affecting his fertility. Rivky encouraged Shmuel to contact Puah with any questions he had about her condition, and Puah’s rabbinic advisors were thrilled to assist, inviting Shmuel and his parents for a meeting where they carefully explained all of the details of Rivky’s disorder and their future implications, as well as what treatment possibilities exist. They emphasized that they would provide support and guidance throughout the couple’s journey.
The happy ending? About two months ago, Rivky and Shmuel got married. All of the Puah staff and the members of Rivky’s support group were there, dancing and crying and davening for the couple and for themselves at this emotional moment.
Of course, this is not yet the happy ending. Rivky and Shmuel are about to embark on a new process together—as they seek to become parents. And Puah will be right there alongside them, as they have until now, providing them with every possible support and guidance.
By Gila Arnold
