I am crazy. Mind you, not the be-scared-you-might-come-home-to-a- bunny-boiling-on-your- stove crazy, but the kind of crazy that gets me emotionally involved with mostly everything. This is not something new or a revelation to people who know me, but sometimes, even I am surprised with how this craziness manifests itself.

Son #1 is in Israel for the year. Allow me to apologize to those of you are not in this stage of life. The nursing moms are thinking “I can’t even imagine a whole night’s sleep let alone sending this leech to Israel,” and the older parents are thinking “Israel for the year, wait until they move there and you only see them once a year…” But, this is the stage I am in. The stage where, when seeing him on facetime (not on my grandma flippy-phone, of course) I started squealing with glee shouting “OMG! I just want to eat your adorable little face!!” Yes, I have issues, but admitting them is the first step.

Alrighty. So son #1 is in Israel and his birthday is October 1. He will be 18, God Willing, and this is the first birthday that we will not be together. Husband #1 keeps telling me to relax and I keep glaring at him, which is nothing new. How can I relax when my first born is thousands of miles away? Who will sing to him? Who will give him presents and cards and a cake and balloons and kisses (sorry son #1, now everyone knows that I give you kisses…at least I am not Adrian Peterson…kisses are better than switches…) For the past few weeks, I have been racking my brains trying to figure out how to make his birthday special without me there (which, I don’t want to admit, he might be perfectly happy about, and that is okay, sniff sniff.)

I decided to be clever and order him Minnesota Vikings (his favorite team) party plates and napkins and balloons. This way, he can make his own little birthday party. I have a friend who will be delivering him a cake and black and white cookies (hopefully, he still likes those.) My parents have already ordered him balloons and everything seemed to be moving along.

I forgot to mention that the friend who is bringing him his birthday baked goods is probably ready to kill me because I have emailed her a zillion times. I am hoping that because I set her up with her husband, she will forgive my insanity, but you never know.

The last piece of the birthday puzzle was the cards. How will I get him his cards? I could impose on one of the hundreds of people going to Israel for the holidays, but none of them are leaving BEFORE his birthday and crazy mom wants him to get these cards ON his birthday. What am I going to do? I have a friend who is leaving the Saturday night before, so I thought that was perfect. Then I found someone leaving a week and a half before, and that was even better. So I emailed the school he is in and asked how long the mail takes in Israel. This is the response I got, “There has been a mail strike here so it could take as little as two weeks or even longer because of the holidays.” I started hyperventilating. My baby will not get his cards on his birthday?? Really, I am going nuts. Over birthday cards. Who knew there was a strike? That was never on teaneckshuls or Fox news or CNN (not that it would ever be on CNN…) yup, mail strike. So, we told the young man leaving a week and a half before October 1 to bring the card to the school where the husband of the friend who is bringing son #1 the baked goods is a Rabbi; he will bring them home, give them to my friend and she will deliver them on his birthday with the cake and the cookies. Did you get that? Have I lost you? I told you I was crazy….But wait, there is more!!

The Minnesota Vikings party goods arrive and I bring them to the post office because won’t it be nice for son #1 to get a package in the mail? (Apparently the USPS does not know about the mail strike in Israel.) For $52 I can send the $6 party goods express delivery and he will get them in 1-2 business days. That is correct, $52 for $6 worth of party goods. And if son #3 wasn’t with me to be the voice of husband #1(which is the voice of “have you totally lost your mind??!”), I would have done it. Because I am crazy. So I only spent $24 and am hoping he gets these party goods before the entire team ends up in jail….

I don’t have the ending to this incredibly compelling tale yet, but if son #1 reads this article I hope he forgives me and has an incredible birthday, with or without the cards… and his crazy mom will be waiting for him when he comes home.

Banji Latkin Ganchrow is a self-proclaimed writer who lives in Teaneck with her four boys (oh wait, one of those is her husband.)

By Banji Latkin Ganchrow