Building lasting friendships can be one of life’s most rewarding experiences. While each stage of life offers unique opportunities to connect, it’s important to remember that friendships evolve and deepen over time, so there’s no need to feel pressure to “find your people” all at once. Building healthy friendships starts with knowing yourself and understanding what qualities you want in your relationships.
Why Healthy Friendships Matter
Close friends can make life’s ups and downs easier. Supportive friendships improve self-esteem, reduce stress and boost overall well-being. But not every friendship is healthy or lasts forever, and that’s okay. Healthy relationships are ones where you feel respected, valued and safe. Identifying and building these connections can set you up for meaningful friendships.
Recognizing Signs of a Healthy Friendship
Healthy friendships bring out the best in you. Here’s what to look for in a positive, supportive relationship:
You can be yourself without fear of judgment.
Your friends respect your boundaries and you likewise respect theirs.
Your friend makes you feel valued and appreciated.
You support each other’s goals and celebrate each other’s successes.
Conflicts are mutually handled respectfully and openly.
If a friendship makes you feel pressured, uncomfortable or put down, it might be worth reconsidering. Healthy friendships are ones where you feel empowered, respected and encouraged to be the best version of yourself.
Tips for Building Strong Friendships
- Know Yourself First: What do you value most? What strengths do you bring to a friendship? Understanding yourself makes it easier to attract people who share your values and appreciate you.
- Present Yourself Authentically: Are you showing up as your true self? Friendships thrive when both people can be real. Show kindness, openness and genuine interest to make others feel valued and respected.
- Set and Respect Boundaries: What makes you feel safe and respected? Communicate your limits and respect others’ boundaries. Real friends understand and respect each other’s needs.
- Choose Friends Who Align With Your Values: After spending time with someone, do you feel energized or drained? Surround yourself with people who support, encourage, and bring out your best self.
- Handle Conflict With Maturity: Can you approach disagreements calmly? Avoid gossip, listen to others’ perspectives and be open to compromise. Resolving issues respectfully can make friendships even stronger.
Growing With Your Friendships
Friendships shift and evolve as you grow, and it’s natural for people to drift apart over time. Cherish the friendships that support you now, and know that every connection teaches you something valuable. Life brings countless chances to build meaningful relationships, so take your time and enjoy each stage. Remember that lasting friendships take time and can develop at any stage of life.
By understanding yourself, setting healthy boundaries and being open to new connections, you will create meaningful and lasting friendships. The best friends are those who accept you for who you are and encourage you to grow, so trust yourself and give others the chance to see the real you.
Dr. Sarah Mandelbaum, LCSW, PhD, offers guidance and support for adolescents and young adults in New York and New Jersey, helping them navigate life transitions with confidence and care. With over a decade of experience in school social work, Dr. Mandelbaum specializes in supporting individuals struggling with mental health challenges and complicated family dynamics. Contact Dr. Mandelbaum for a free 15-minute consultation at [email protected] or (201) 439-8033.
