The other night I happened upon a Cosby Show marathon. Do you remember the Cosby Show? We had Dr. and Mrs. Huxtable, the African-American doctor-lawyer power couple and their five wonderfully perfect children (though, two of them did not look as African-American as the parents, hmm, maybe not so perfect after all). Cliff, the father, always wore colorful sweaters and Claire, the mom, never called Cliff a moron or questioned his parenting skills. The oldest went to Princeton and their youngest was just the cutest little thing who always made everyone laugh.

They had one son in the midst of the four daughters, so he was the “prince” and could do no wrong. (Hey, I think I have a brother like that.) They lived in an amazing brownstone somewhere in Brooklyn and Dr. H.’s obstetrics practice was conveniently attached to the house. The house was always clean, even though both parents worked full time; there was never the token housekeeper and the kids never seemed to have any chores. They always got along and each episode ended with some sort of life lesson and lots of love and laughter (insert gagging sound here).

Funny how perception changes over time. One of the episodes I watched was about Dr. Huxtable’s, aka Bill Cosby’s, 50th birthday. The first time I saw this episode it was probably in the ’80s and I thought 50 was soooo old. Watching it at my current age I was thinking, “Wow, they move around pretty well for 50, wonder what vitamin regimen they are on.” (Truthfully, I was also thinking that they looked old for 50 and when people look at me, though I am nowhere near 50, sort of, I wonder if they think I look that old.)

There was also the perception that Cosby was himself a perfect sort of fellow. Well, so much for that. (Insert additional gagging sounds here.)

Then there’s The Breakfast Club. For those of you who have never seen this movie, it is a classic (though not in the same way that one might refer to a John Wayne or Alfred Hitchcock film as a classic). A bunch of kids get stuck doing detention together. (Detention, can you imagine if our kids got detention and the parental outrage that would ensue?) Each student is from a different social group–the jock, the nerd, etc. They all come together and we get to learn about how they got there, what their lives are really like and how they interact with the teacher who has to watch them for the day. When you see that movie as a teenager, you totally relate to how these kids talk about their parents, school, and their lives. When you watch this movie as a parent, you wonder in absolute horror if your kids perceive you the way that these kids perceived their parents. Not a pretty picture, my friends…

There are some TV shows today that are so incredibly funny and hit so close to home that I make my kids watch them with me. The Middle, for example, is one of those shows that comes up with story lines that I am convinced they get from bugging my house. The mother’s day gift fiasco episode…I can’t remember the specifics, but I remember thinking if they can make a whole TV show about it, I must not be the only mother who feels that no one ever listens to her. After all, there is a whole show about it! Then there is The Goldbergs. The Goldbergs is based on a family in the ’80s. I loved the ’80s and I love this show. The mom has a wardrobe reminiscent of every over-shoulder-padded floral sweater that my mom wore during that same time period. It’s like the wardrobe people went through my mother’s cedar closet. (I only wish they did that; that closet is a Bermuda triangle of fashions long gone and never to return…ever.) I see the clothes and jewelry that the sister wears and it is like I am being transported back in time–when the phone was attached to the wall and music played on a record player.

Sometimes, especially after the unspeakable acts of last week, you just wish life was like a sitcom. Everyone loves each other; oops, some conflict, and then everyone loves each other again. And the conflict is always something trivial like the sister “accidentally” cuts the brother’s hair or tells a girl he likes her. Harmless. Harmless is good. Resolutions are good. Families that get along and eat dinner in the same room at the same table are good. But it would be even better if it actually happened in real life as well. So let’s try to make every day a good episode…I don’t really know how to go about doing that when reality is nowhere near as easy as a 30-minute show about real life. So laugh, love, fight, and scream…and when that’s over, give someone a hug, a smile, and turn off the TV.

Banji Ganchrow is a self-proclaimed writer who loves spending the day at the Museum of Television and Radio, where she can watch reruns of The Love Boat and Fantasy Island and occasionally Facts of Life…

By Banji Latkin Ganchrow